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Woke in the morning, feeling okay considering the previous day, and Phils alarm going off dead early like and dead loud like too.

I went to shower and get sorted, and when I came out of the bathroom, Phil was looking paler than usual (quite a feat) – he pointed a wobbly finger above the exit door. And there was a spider the size of a cat! Arrggghhh.

I must admit I did a little scared dance, hoping up and down and waving my hands about. It was enormous, and it was staring at us. Phil ran away to get showered and I watched the beast walk across the top of the door, in that spidery way they do, the down the other side, then straight at me. I was sweating.

Next thing a shrill scream came from the bathroom “I’m trapped” it pierced, “It’s on the door, I’m stuck”. OMG OMFG OMFMFG I found myself hoping and waving again, and I had lost sight of the first beasty they were attacking us in a pincer movement – I shrank away from the bathroom door, expecting a spider the size of a Rhino to come bursting out at any moment, but also wary of the floor where his mate was stalking me. I heard some scraping and slapping, and courageous Phil came tumbling out “Ah AH AH” he explained.

Anyway, we managed to get out, have some breakfast (which was very tasty, but Phil had a Kilo of free oats and a vegetarian breakfast) and into the car for the next adventure.

First up was BroadWay – the place we didn’t get to the previous evening where we saw a jogger jump up and high five a street sign – what a man. Broadway is nice, especially early when no one is around apart from Mr Sunshine – we even found some toilets next to the cleanest, tidiest play park in the world. After a little wander we decided to head on, it was too early for a beer.

Next stop was Sunny Stratford, last time I was here I ran (well slowly jogged) twenty six miles, and that was the whole reason for this blog. We had a mooch around, almost went up the new tower in the Shakespeare place, but it cost so we didn’t. We were very relieved to see that very sparing use of a cartoon Shakespeare was had around the town. NOT! We listen to a guy talk to a group of people about the town, nearly bought a martmite flavored sausage roll (that will haunt me for ever) and a actually did buy a newspaper. We sat down and had a beer. The we left.

We almost stopped somewhere else, but it didn’t look so good, and Phil was gasping for a beverage, so we headed over ot he sleepy hamlet of Chipping Norton. It looks better when you drive through it.

We arrived and I had a quick look into the dive that was to be our hotel for the night, what a place, scary bar woman/owner and drunks in the bar – drinking beer, at this time. So we went for a pint. Then we went for another and sat outside with a tasty baguette for me, and a crappy ploughmans for Phil – (the spellcheck wanted to change ploughmans to manslaughter, which has a certain ring to it) he actually moaned about it. After beers we took the plunge and checked in, the woman knew what we were about, “the quiors” were shown to their room, and the bar had a giggle. Although they were happy talking about how f&*kin happy they were that Ian Pasley was dead, as we left.

We had a wander around, and its not a fab place, so we sat on a sort of balcony and drank until supper time. When we got in the pub with the with the sort of balcony, they gave us a loyalty card thing which meant we had a free pint after we had 9 or 10 I think. We didn’t really think it was worth while, but Phil knows his onions, and as it happened we filled it by bed time. After some time we set off for the Thai, which looked a bit alright – it was (so she said) packed – but I just think she didn’t like the cut of our jib – so we found another Chinese place, which looked a little iffy. It was iffy, but it used chop sticks, and natty old fashioned 1`960’s chinese chop stick holders and a little bowl to eat your nosh with. I had something sizzly, Phil didn’t. It was quite a find – very good and it was enjoyed.

Back to the balcony in the dark and the free pint, which I was too rich to get, so Phil got it along with another girly coffee, or was it hot chocolate?

Back home, no spiders, and an okay sleep.

Next morning was a breakfast in a 1950’s dining room, which hadn’t been cleaned since then, with a very dodgy looking woman doing some very dodgy cooking and a cat. The food was meaty and greasy – so went down a treat. Phil had a fondant.

Over to Gloucester to be dropped off and picked up.

Massive thanks to Joey the Lips who cared for me so much during the couple of days – it wouldn’t have been the same without him, but then, I wouldn’t have gone on my own.

Good times.

Woo Hoo – holiday.

We had been planning a trip for some time, ever since the original “The Trip” with Coogan and the welsh bloke, and it finally happened. We had the idea for a couple of days of fantastic hotels, brilliant food, lots of script writing and incredible company. We failed.

We set off down the old M4 around 9:00 on the Thurs, and within minutes the jokes were flowing like honey wine at the monastery when the monks realised that Master Monk had left for the village and forgotten to lock up his Kays Catalogue. Unfortunately like the monks the wine and excitement ran out before the Severn Bridge. So we drove in silence to the M5. A change in scenery and we were back on form, unfortunately we didn’t have a mini camera in the car, so the exquisite pearls of handsome humor have been lost in the folds of time, but it got us to a petrol station in a village just off the M5.

Now we were really on a voyage of discovery, speeding along country lanes looking for a bacon roll on the side of the road (well in a van on the side of the road), we found, instead, a hotel/pub affair. We dared to venture in, and passed the polish security guards dressed as cleaners, but balked at the price for a cooked breakfast – six quid, I ask you! In fact the main reason we didn’t stop was the table they had was next to some other humans – and we don’t like that.

More lanes and we found Nailsbury or maybe Nailsworth, and as I had been here before I could navigate the driver to the car park – and in short order we had a fantastic bacon roll and tea – this was living alright…

After Nails* we headed through Minchimptonhamptonshire and a herd of cows, which spooked Phil rather dramatically – but we were soon over the common looking for the next stop. We saw a sign for Cirencester – so we headed in. After a quick detour around the one way we parked up and looked at the delights of the town – it’s okay there. After thinking everyone passing on a bike was Gibson, we settled in for my first beer of the day. The sun was out, I had a drink and we had 30 mins before the car parking ran out. At this point we could see the car park, so with a saftey net of only 3 mins we ambled over – it wasn’t our parking place – so we meandered around to find where we left the car. We found it.

After some time in the car we arrived at the next stop, it was nearly lunch time, but I had gobbled down 12 wine gums and a packet of Pork Scratchings so decided to just go with the lager this time, brave Phil had a fancy pants coffee – he’s really metropolitan don’t ya’know. We left the lovely village of Bourton to pastures new, and off to Stow – which is on the Wold apparently, but we didn’t see any rivers there. Another quick mooch around and a pint each this time outside a pub. Not too shabby.

Next stop was terminal. We pulled into the car park of the hotel in Chippen Campden and I checked us in. It is a twin I asked – no she replied. It *will* be a twin I suggested, and luckily she agreed to get housekeeping to do the necessary – so we had a beer. We looked a little like we were going to a Camp Den. After a beer, a wink from the bar man and some curry popcorn we checked in into the room. It was a twin, but barely. It used to be a Queen bed, but was actually two singles, they had but two single mattresses on, but not moved the bed – so as the old phrase goes, you couldn’t have got a rizla between us – well not until we re-arranged the furniture to give us some man space.

We decided to walk to the village next door, a 5 mile slog over mountains and streams, it was 4:30 – we managed about 50 yards and saw that a pub was having a pub quiz later so headed back up the high street for a quick mosey then a pint. I think at this time we may have had another pint, then went to a nice place to see if we could get in on the Curry Night – we couldn’t – so we had a beer. As it happened the pub with the quiz, had an exciting rear which was a fully fledged Indian – fan bloody tastic. We raced over and had a great curry and Cobra wolfed down to get us in the bar by 8:00 for the quiz. It started late.

The quiz was jolly good fun – fueled in part by the beers we had, and the beers the quiz master had, it was loud and boisterous and rude – we came third – the others must have cheated, because we did, and we still only came third. But we did get all the joke questions right, and shouted them out to great applause and even a fist pump by the quiz master.

We had a final pint and a coffee and fed a slug some curry popcorn – then we retired to our honeymoon suite and before I could finish my dissection of the next days driving, Phil was swaddled up and sleeping like a baby. A baby who makes alarming whale blows in his sleep….

I felt a spider walk my leg in the night, but dismissed it – more of that tomorrow…

Monday. Barcalona Day. No swimming. Train to catch. We had the wrong time. We waited…..

Along with the rest of Santa Susanna. The trains are massive there, but only have half the chairs we do – so we had the pleasure of being packed in like matchmakers (Orange thanks God – not coffee) with the only loud Welshman right next to us. He was from Llandaf, and he lied, repeatedly, to his sons about all sorts of things. Well when I say lie, I do mean lie, but in the sense of he kept telling them things about life/the world that were just not correct like an ant is a tiny buffalo and stuff – perhaps he was just a little thick.

After a couple of station stops the tanoy came on, loudly, with a very bad singer – it sounded like they had given him a microphone in the front and piped his tones through all the carriages. I could not believe it, you wouldn’t have any of that in Britain. It was loud and rubbish. After a time I managed to move 180 degrees in the matchmaker box and realised to my horror that there was a bloke, some 2 feet away from me, with a mic and a speaker and he was actually “busking” to us on the train! Why the &^&* had no one told him to shut up or even turn it down I don’t know. Even if he had been Julio Iglesias no one would have been able to give him any cash as we couldn’t move – what a plonker. So he deliberately tortured us, safe in the knowledge no one could lift their arm high enough to clonk him. Thank the lord he got off after a couple of stops.

Just over an hour into Barcelona, and as we pulled into a station I thought we had at least another to go, but the whole train emptied. I was  a little shocked at this, so we jumped off with the crowd and headed upstairs. I think the station was Passeig de Gracia but even looking on Google I cannot be sure but it ended up being just the right place to get the tourist bus. After spending a few Euro on a couple of life saving waters, we paid up and took the first half of the bus tour. Luckily we took the back row of the bus, upstairs, and in the shade – it was nice. We went along the front and the side and the back and saw some stuff. We were told about Gaudi repeatedly, he seems to equal Barcelona, even though no one seemed to like his architecture at the time, and he was killed by a tram (which we were told about 10 times)

After a couple of hours we were back at the beginning, and it was time for lunch. We strolled down Les Rambles, which is a street where you are very likely to get robbed and looked for somewhere to have a drink. All looked the same, and not great – then, through the robbers we noticed a square. We sat, it was like luxury we had comfy seats and cold beer, and a “proper” hot dog, and some tumblers tumbled and no one tried to steal our clothes. It was so nice we ended up staying for three (drinks not hot dogs, although I was tempted.).

After lunch it was time for the bus again, so we shambled down the Rambles holding very tightly to our slacks and purses, and had a look around the Quay side – where we send 60 cent having a wee wee (boy it was worth it though ;o), then we got on the bus again for the second half of the Barcelona journey. We saw some more stuff on this pass, and two hours later we were back again. We did a little bit of exploring, and Kate magically directed us around all the tiny streets to the only square we found, where we were easily persuaded to spend 50% more than the rest of Barcelona on supper. But we were on the only square around – so that was okay. The toilet had a bloke in it who had the job of putting soap on your hand, starting the tap and then drying your hand – I didn’t let him.

Back on a slightly less packed train, and quick doss on the balcony before gwelly.

Another day, Sunday today, not something you really think about on your hols – all days blur into one. Up early again, and a little run into Pineda de Mar this morning, and right past the Maccy D’s. I was tempted, but it was just out of reach given my training was going that well…

Back for a swim – the water seemed a little warmer today, so we had a splash about before breakfast – Kate had Chicken Nuggets I had my normal number of rolls and greasy meat. Afterwards we got back down on our beds by the pool, but I didn’t venture in again, I didn’t want to get wet before our stroll.

Back down to Pineda, with a view to eat at the Tapas bar I had heard about. We had a look along the front, then back for the Tapas. It was good. The beer glass was frosted, and we had anchovies, calamari, bread, cheese, meatballs it was great. To top it off, we were sat outside, in the shade, with the F1 on a big telly just in front of us – now that is the life…. After nosh we relented to Kate to get a blow up thing for the water – she decided on a great big ring, which she had to carry!

Back down the beach, and into the waves in our new toy. Luckily for Kate after about 30 seconds on it I felt sea sick, so she had the joy of me pushing her in it, into the waves. Ah what fun. The sea was reasonably “warm” and the waves were fun, but I got caught by one, and spun under, as I had my ear plugs in and the sea invaded my head, it almost caused them to pop out. I had a real stabbing pain in my ear, and managed to stumble out of the sea and tag-team Sian to take over. I thought I might have perforated my ear drum – I hadn’t…

After a while we set off back, and into the pool to get Kate to practice diving through the ring, after a few worried aborted attempts she finally did it, and was well chuffed. This continued for some time and long enough to get a big scar down her leg from the creases – but she was in the pool so couldn’t complain too much ;o) I retired and the other came up soon ready for Kates special treat for supper – we were going to the Hotel Buffet – Oh no!

So we ummed a little, but ended up going back into the breakfast room for supper, to be honest it wasn’t bad, but it did make me think what a great choice we made in just booking breakfast. There was a good choice, for me mostly veal and lamb chops. But it was good to have a little of everything, and then a little more, and then a little more, and then …. So we were home sooner than usual, so took a littlel stroll up the shops and got some goodies. Nice to be back early and took the opportunity to get some extra zzz’s. Sian and Kate fell asleep with their Kindles open.

Hotel Buffet – 6/10

Lots of thunder in the night, but the morning was clear. I was up early and off for a run to Malgrat. Felt really good to run, and I went around the back a little and further than we had walked previously. Years ago my folks had stayed here in a hotel which I tried to find, I couldn’t – I ran back the other way, along the road by the coast, and it was great. Got back, far to sweaty to go straight in the pool, but I did anyway – the shock of the cold water nearly gave me a cardiacarest but I survived. Yet another massive breakfast, and afterwards, as we had put some towels down in the morning, we spent it around the pool. Bit of a doze, a little swim and some nice relax took us to lunch. I ordered a beer and a fanta, when the waiter saw this he did an amused “oooh lalaaaa” to me – not sure what he was insinuating, but it seemed to amuse him no end.

After lunch we went back, and the girls splashed around and I went back to my hidey hole on the balcony and drank and ate cooked pig skin – life was good. After they came back it started to rain again, but only when I noticed the ball, and my T-shirt were still around the poolside. I got wet.

Another walk up the strip and a visit to the same place we went on the first night, very slow service, and I had another Spaghetti Fruti de Mar – this one however had no sauce – just lashings of olive oil, it was okay, but no where near as nice as the others I had. After waiting for a week for the food and final drinks we mooched back. Kate and I had our silhouettes cut out by a bloke on the front – it took him about 30 seconds, it was so impressive, although whilst typing this it doesn’t do it justice.

Didn’t see much of Tenacious fly today.

Bei Peppe – 6/10

Thunder in the night, and rain in the morning. So we decided to head back to Girona. Had the big breakfast again, and got some tickets – remembering to Validate them. On the train along with Tenacious, we set off to Girona. The trains are big, but have few seats, so Kate sat across the way from us and after a couple of stops had Micheal Jackson sit next to her. He obliviously had some condition because his fingers, toes and some of his hand was white, the rest wasn’t. He looked a little like a snake shedding his skin. I don’t know if there is a phrase which says in every black person there is a white persons trying to get out – but if there is, it was his.

Girona was pretty good, we walked around the old Ciry, and walked the walls. At one point we had to go up a tower on a spiral staircase. As it was busy I waited for the girls, but then the queue disappeared and I risked the climb – I don’t like heights or staircases you can see though, but to make it worse as I was half way up some woman was coming down on a mission. She physically pushed by out of the way which meant I was pushed into the central column of the staircase, which was rusty – so I had bronze boob for the rest of the day.

We found a little cafe for a beer, and then after some wondering around trying to find a food place with room, we sat on their Rambals and had some great tapas, we shared everything, and to give him is dues Tenacious fly waited until we had finished before he launched in.

We walked around the rest of the town, and then it started to rain, alot. So we had to get in a pub, and fast – which we did. We had a train to catch, so we braved the storm – which luckily for us was just about stopping and managed to get a seat for the journey home. Once back the pool side was quite quiet – ideal for a swim, so we splashed about a bit.

Along the strip again, and actually found the place we he been looking for the night before – it was good. It was down a backstreet, and we were quite pensive when we arrived, but it was great, and had to large parties of locals in. I had a monkfish stew thing, which was a great thing – best place we went to.

Whilst there we could hear and see the rain picking up again, so we got a little wet on the way home, but there was hardly anyone on the strip – which was magnificent. I didn’t mind a little rain when we almost had the pavement to ourselves. We got back and sat on the balcony watching the lightening flash, the thunder roar and the rain pour – it was good.

Antonios – 9/10

Next day and it was Water Park day – unfortunately. Big old breakfast, then we had to get our towels and look for the free bus to the Park. A bus came with no room, everyone ran to it, then another cheaper looking one came, which we managed to get onto after a bit of faffing, as we didn’t have a ticket. Two days later we made it to the Park in Lorett de Mar, just as it opened. Some more faffing and we got in. I felt sick.

We found a spot and Mr Miserable didn’t want to do anything, so the girls went off and had a great time on all the scary water rides. I dossed, and slept a little, and dossed some more. I did enjoy the day, as it was a great day to totally do nothing what so ever, which was one of the ideas I had for the holiday – but it meant that I didn’t go with the family on anything, which was bad. At about 12:00 Tenacious fly turned up, he obviously missed the first bus, had a lay in and caught the second free bus – either that or he flew all the way – I’ll never know. They enjoyed the rides though I think, and they even went around again in the afternoon. I stayed in my bin.

After planning out a book, it was time to catch the bus home. We got there on time, and we had seats. After a bit of time on the balcony we headed out for some more nosh. I was after a specific place, but we couldn’t find it. We headed to the place, as mapped in Trip Advisor and the place wasn’t there – what was there was nothing. I was gagging for a wee-wee, so in the end had to run into a hotel to find a toilet. We walked some more, and some more and found nothing, so headed back to the strip.

We say outside the place, and after ordering, we discovered the Malbro Girl was sitting next to us, and she managed to smoke a fag constantly for the two hours we were there. Whether she was on the phone, eating, drinking, talking, holding her breath she still had the fag in her mouth. Given the amount of smoke drifting over us she probably wasn’t really smoking it at all, just holding it and pointing the red bit at us. It was a shame really because the food was great. I had another Spaghetti Fruiti de Mar here, and it was better than the first one. The staff were arseholes though. Tenacious fly was back.

They started okay, but were so slow, and although I appreciate it that Europe does things differently in restaurants to us normal people, and things are more “laid back”, but when you wait for 15 minutes for a drink, and then have to ask three times for the bill it gets a little frustrating. At one point I asked another waiter for the bill and he looked at me with disgust, and said something in some foreign language. Well I showed him, I left no tip! HA!

Home bed.

Vistamar (food) – 9/10

Vistamar service and other customers – 1/10

UP early doors, and spent some time watching the imbeciles actually queuing at 8:00 to be allowed to put their towels down. Some of the loungers have towels on for most of the day with no one there. It is a self fulfilling process though, as because people do it, then in order to get a bed, you also have to do it – stupid.

So we went down just after 8:00 and had a little swim. This was nice,hardly anyone else around, almost the whole of the pool to ourselves – although with five people in the pool it was a little crowded for me. We spent around half hour in the pool, which was surprisingly cold when you first got in it – then off for the first of many massive breakfasts. Standard hotel fare, big huge buffet with everything you could want from fruit, cereals, bread, cheese, hams, bacon (well a sort of European bacon), eggs, chicken nuggets, chips and on and on. I immediately got into a routine which stayed with me for the remained. Two rolls, lots of meat and cheese and some orange juice.

Once sated, we decided to find the “private” beach the hotel may or may not have, it may not, as far as we could see. So instead we walked along the coast to the other town – Pineda de Mar. This seemed like quite a trek, and Kate couldn’t wait to get in the sea, but wait she did ;o)

We had a little look around, and big brave Kate climbed a playground thing with a slide, then we went to the Amstel pub. Amsel beer glasses, Amstel menu, Amsel table, Amstel ashtray, Amsel chairs – but oddly no Amstel lager. Nah – I’m kidding. After this brief stop we headed back to find a piece of beach we liked. That took longer than you might expect. Finally we found a spot we liked, so the race was on to get in the sea. The beach was a sort of shingle, with a steep incline down to the sea, there were big breakers but as the beach was so sloped within about 15 foot you were out of your depth – I was scared as I didn’t know how the undercurrents might behave, but after a time we were pretty confident. If you weer caught in a wave you got pummeled – this is a lot more fun than it sounds. I had a little sit in the sun whilst Sian took over sea duties with my book, my water bottle and Tenacious fly for company.

After beach time we headed home and went for a quick bite to eat in the hotel outside restaurant – I had a “horse” sausage – make of that what you will – it was tasty, but a little dry..  Afterwards the girls took themselves off to the pool again, and I relaxed like an over-weight life guard in my chair on the balcony. Couple of beers and 17% of my book later and we were all back together ready to hit the strip. This time we didn’t walk so far, and went to another recommendation from tripadvisor. We hadn’t really got into the Spanish way yet – we were ready for food at eight, Spain isnt ready until way after nine, so we ended up being the only people in this place. The manager was friendly, I think, as he didn’t seem to speak any English – and the waiting staff kept walking passed us like it was an aquarium. We had some free things from him, which as we couldn’t speak the lingo we had no idea what they were – there were nice though, and I had my first Spaghetti Fruiti de Mar – it was nice. Couple of beers later and it was time to join the streams of people on the front. Back home to the balcony, and I couldn’t even finish my beer everyone was asleep again. We had had the air con all day, and the curtains closed, so it was chilling nicely, but also chilling noisily – good job I had my earplugs…

Via 7 – 8/10

Well we finally booked a holiday. We had planned to go on the last week in Aug this year, and I stupidly thought we would just get our pick of any “last minute” holidays and get going – well it wasn’t like that – everywhere I looked for a good hotel was booked, and when you have no location in mind it gets a little long winded. Anyway I ended up getting a hotel which had good reviews on the coast in Spain. After booking the hotel and flights separately – bloody RyanAir add’s extra money for everything. We decided to go to Santa Susanna on the Costa Brava about an hour up the coast from Barcelona.

I went to check in via Ryan Air and realised two things – one is that if your flight ids longer than seven days you either have to pay for allocated seating, or print out your ticket once you get there as you can only print out tickets within seven days of your flight. The second thing we realised was that Kate didn’t have a valid passport! We had just over a week to get it, so they went to the passport office in Newport of the off chance – but children cannot get a passport on the day, they have to send off and it takes a week – this was Monday, we were leaving the following Tues. The next appointment in Newport was three weeks in the future, so even though it only takes five minutes we eventually got a session in Liverpool on the Tues morning. So Sian and Kate got on the train Monday afternoon for a night out in the ‘pool.

They stayed, they saw and after a fire alarm scare they sat in front of Mrs Passport and after approx. 3 minutes it was stamped – we just had to hope it came before Tues. It did.

So up early doors on the Tues morning, and arrived into the airport car park at 6:45. Ready to queue, and queue we did. The bag checkin was slow as usual, but security was empty. Slightly annoyingly we have to make sure things are packed right, and have to take off all our clothes to get though the scanner, but the staff were mucking about with each other on the air side of the scanner. It’s a little frustrating that we have to do all these things to get through, and our security didn’t seem to give a shit. They did test Sian’s phone for drugs though – which was nice.

Once though we got ourselves into the holiday spirit with a big BK breakfast, and the the cattle market started for the flight. As everyone had assigned seats now, I don’t really understand the mentality to get there first. But a couple of hours later we were in Girona. Once we arrived we went to colelct your baggage, and also to pick up Tenacious fly – he is your own private fly who stays with you throughout your trip. He fights off the other flys so you only ever have one with you, but he stays there all holiday. After picking up the bags and Tenacious we met our non-communicative driver at the gate, and were ferried in the back of a nice minibus thing, with a number plate of HKY. Forty minutes and a five euro tip later I was standing in an air-conditioned queue listing to some annoying Russians try to check in, and had to hear the constant bleating of some Americans that things were not exactly the same as at home.

Room was okay – but warm, decent balcony which looked down on the pit of evil which was the pool side. So many people, my heart rate raised, my palms were sweating (although that was probably the 29 degree heat) and I thought I might have a panic attack – 8 days of this!!!!!

We set off for a little wonder down the strip, and stopped at Kate’s first choice of the week – the Burger Club. I was hyperventilating at this point – but luckily could breath enough to get a big fat bacon/cheese burger down my neck and the first of an occasional beer. I would have left there and then if I could have – I am just so rubbish.

So back to the hotel, and the girls went to brave the throngs in the pool, and I tried to relax with a can of beverage on the balcony. It was getting better, I could see them, but was far enough away from the crowds. I sat and sweated in the heat, read my book and drank my beer – actually this is okay I started to think…

Later on we walked down the avenue to the next village, Malgrat and as we walked in the heat we saw all the people – there were loads. The strip was okay, stalls on one side, bars/shops and restaurants on the other.. We had a plan for tonight, the number one place to start with – it seemed like it was miles away. We arrived we spent days waiting for a beer, and had some okay nosh. I decided to eat like a Spaniard, so had the Paella – but a meat one – expecting some meaty deliciousness in a variety of small fleshy parcels I had chunks of bony chicken in wet rice.

We walked the length of the strip back, and I relaxed out side on the balcony for a final beer – the girls were asleep, cuddling their Kindles when I came in – I think it was fair to say we were tired.

Burger Club – 7/10

Bei Pepe – 7/10

Okay, good, not so.

We left Canterbury and headed the 40 miles as the crow flies or 500 miles as the roads go to Southampton the next day, I managed to break apart the bike enough to get it in the boot, so we didn’t have to carry it around on the back and set off through the convoluted path that is the roads in the South East. We arrived in Southampton about 11:00 in a wonderfully warm day. We checked in early and parked up, and then headed out at to the train station. The “New Southampton” is a big shopping park, with internal shops and loads of car parks – its okay, but reminded me of being abroad somewhere, things weer a little unfamiliar. We got to the train station and after faffing with tickets got on the train to Winchester with 30 seconds to spare, and within about 15 minutes we were at Wincester, coming out of the station we had no idea which way to head, so out with the sat nav, and five mins later we were heading for the town center. We found a pub which was yet another “oldest pub”  to get a little light lunch and then had a look around. We saw the Cathedral, the had a look at “the oldest working mill, in the world”. Opposite the mill was a pub with a terrace garden next to the little river – we spent the entire rest of the day there.

We thought we might eat in Winchester, but by 7:00 no one was hungry so we just had another beer in a crappy place and got the train back. Then we went over the bridge into “Old Town”. It wasn’t very old.

We decided to treat ourselves to a picnic in Tesco (well be bought it in Tesco, we didn’t think it right to eat in) and back to the hotel. I felt a little dodgy, but managed to eat me sandwich in, then I went to sleep, no idea what Kate managed to eat.

Next morning and off to Starbucks for breakfast for a change, I had a panini as it had free pop-crisps, and then we went to get the ferry over to the Isle of Wight. The woman in the ticket office told me the cheepest ticket was £51 for the three of us, so we hummed and harred for a bit, then I noticed we could have a family tickey – so I said “How about the family ticket” and she said “okay, that will be £31” – stupid people. We caught the fast boat, which leaves about every half hour, and the crossing only took 25 mins or so – really speedy boat and a great crossing./ Before we knew it were were in the Isle of Wight and in Cowes, two days before the Cowes Week Regatta – not that you would have know.

We crossed to East Cowes on the (free – brilliant) chain ferry, and found nothing of interest there what so ever, so came back after a few minutes, and went to catch a bus. First stop Newport, which seemed just as dirty as the real Newport is. Then a bus out to the monkey and owl sanctuary – which was okay, but it was so hot the monkeys couldn’t be bothered to dance for us – even when we shouted at them. Kate stroked an owl, I just took a picture. Another bus – back into Newport, just time for Kate to have some cheesy chips and me to have a beer, then we were on another bus to travel 15 miles and one hour. Not great. Then we arrived at the Needles, which are some rocks which stick out from the west side of the IoW, only the Needles is actually a tiny Blackpool full of horrors. We went on the cable car which really made my day, down to the beach after being queue jumped buying the tickets  by millions of foreign people. We got to the beach, saw the Needles in the distance and came back up again watching in mock surprise all the hats that had been blown off cable car riders.

Luckily the bus was coming in 20 minutes so we stood at the front of the queue, perhaps slightly keener than we should have, at one point I thought a bloke was going to stand in front of me, so I prepared my amazing put down I was going to fire at him, but he must have sensed it coming as we shuffled off in a waft of sweat. Bus came another, one and a half hours to get back, and more annoying, selfish morons on the bus and we were finally back at Cowes and could have a beverage. Caught the next available transport out of there and returned to Southampton. We found an Indian, and sat and had a beer and some really quite nice grub. Sian thought it was cold there, I was fine, so we swapped and then they turned off the air con.

Next morning we set off in search of Hungerford – we found it.

Then we came home.

So the cycle was over, around the M25 (sort of), 180 miles and three days – starting and finishing in Windsor.

As the Sunday was a short day, about 40 miles, we arrived back in Windsor around 13:30 and I left Greg to cycle the 40 miles to Paddington and Dave went back to the hotel to get himself home. I met up with Sian and Kate in the Royal Oak, a pub we had had a brief pint in three days ago just before the first day of peddling, and I was relieved to take my shoes off for the last time. Quick Peroni, and then we walked back to the hotel to collect the car and settle in for the journey to Canterbury. I went to collect the ticket from the reception – expecting a charge, but he just said – Click the button, so thirty quid saved there and safe, secure parking for the bike. Stuck the bike on, and poured myself into the passengers seat for the journey to stop No. 1.

M25 was rubbish, and I found out after than I am a crap passenger, Kate told me that I was grasping the door handle for dear life and muttering and sucking in air all the time – well I never. Couple of hours later and we finally arrived in Canterbury in the rain, they dont have their own car park, so we parked around teh back so I could check in, it was a nightmare – about 20 minutes in the queue of just two people, with one old biddy trying to book some rooms for next Feb – idiot. IN the end the counter girl told her to go and sit down and she would sort her later. Checked in and with knowledge of the car parking we unloaded.

Me and Kate carried the bike and all our bags upstairs to a decent, standard Premier Inn room, and th chauffer arrived shortly. We dossed for a bit, then headed out where we found it was raining again, so we got wet. The start of Canterbury is crapolla, its like a seventies architectural dreamboat, but we found a little street and then a pub – ace. Then we had a little look around and some of the rest of it was okay, and we managed to fins a pub or two as we decided which place to eat – I won.

The Royal Inn was the place of choice, which isnt a pub, and the royals weren’t. It was a chinese with a very odd Chinese woman in, she was like something from a sitcom – who wanted to talk to you but then either didn’t understand or was just not interested in any response – we ordered loads, she even said “That’s enough” as I went through the menu, but it was hot and tasty and the tso went down well. We were the only ones in there and she seemed to make out that they were only opening late for us, so don’t know what was happening – but we left and home to bed – I was shattered.

Next morning and we headed off to Burger King for breakfast which I loved, after finding the car was still there for Whitstable on the East coast – I was expecting Tenby, is was worse, quite a lot worse, but the weather held and we had tea in a tea house and a beer in a beer house – the pub was called the Prince Albert and once Kate found out what a Prince Albert was she could only say “WHAT??”. I needed fish and chips badly, so we went to the only one on trip advisor which was open, and it was okay – big fish and pretty tasty, but nothing to write home about. On the way up there I had a cream cake – but it was synthetic, and all the flour fell off it onto my engorged belly – not great.

They had a sea there too, which they paddled in for a short while and a harbour bit with a fresh fish stall which was expensive – we went back.

Had a better look around Canterbury in the afternoon, and had good intentions to walk the wall – but it poured down, so we went to the pub. After the pub again we had to think about what to eat and we went to a nice little place for supper. I had the pizza which as I am wierd was dry because I dont have sauce, but it was a decent enough place. Then to Tesco for chocolate and water and then bed.

Anniversary No. 7 – 20/07/07 was the wedding day, so seven years on – what’s that itch?

As part of our annual trek we have the wonderful opportunity to go away for a night without anyone but us – that is such a pleasure. Although it’s great to go away with others, a day on your own is something to look forward to, this year it was the Cotswolds. I looked and looked and looked for somewhere to go, but due to lack of planning, the top choices were booked, but Nailsworth, as it happened, was a good choice all round…

So we set off earlyish with the knowledge that it was going to rain – and boy did it. Got as far as the bridge and the rain started, of the M4 at the Stroud turning and the rain was a little persistent. We traveled down the smaller road following a guy who was pootling at 40, once he turned off I put the foot down and within 2 minutes was aquaplaning across the road – realising the error of my ways I was back at 40. The trip was okay, a little scary at times, and I wouldn’t have liked to have cycled it, but it was soon time to get into Nailsworth – it was raining.

Went to tell them I was there, but we couldn’t check in until three, it was only 10:30, so we had some time to kill. We walked around the village, me with my umbrella, and Sian with her little coat, I was dry(ish), she was wet, she even went to look to get a brolly – she didn’t. By eleven the pub was open, so we went for tea and coffee… Not saomething I would normally do, but I felt like it was too early for a beer, although I was reminded that any time is a good time 5 minutes after we got there when the first bar-fly appeared and ordered a pint. After tea, and a read of the local estate agents paper we set off for the walk to Woodchester – a few miles on the cycle track, saved by the trees – 35 mins later we arrived. It was raining.

I had a plan for a pub, but not knowing exactly where it was we questioned an idiot from the village, and next thing we were in a nice little pub in South Woodchester – the Ram Inn. It stopped raining.

After a beer and a wine we contemplated food, but decided to move on to the place I had in mind. It was raining.

We walked for father than we wanted to, but then we got to the pub, on the main road and it was nice, they served beer and faggots (with extra gravy) and delightful chips – so we stayed and watched the <clarkson> biblical rain </clarkson>. Then it stopped, I had a chat with a local about chips and Chinese and the cost of the Severn Bridge, so we took the opportunity to walk back. It was raining.

Sooner than we thought we were back at the Egypt Mill, and checked in. Great room. Next thing I knew I was drinking the worst Peroni I had ever tasted in a great little spot outside the mill. It was sunny.

After that god awful drink we set off back to the only pub we knew, the tea shop we started the day in. This time we were very grown up and had peroni and cider and black, and another, and another, and another. At one point I bought the drinks and could have sworn my Peroni was a cider – I thought that rather look like a plonker, not knowing the difference I would ask the boss the check – she told me I was stupid.

After quite a few rounds we decided to get an Indian, after canvassing the locals we went to the “Balti”. It was empty, apart from people getting a take out, I had a lamb Vindaloo for a change – it was lamby. Good thing about a village is it is never very far to home, and after a little walk in the dark we were back. Nice night was had, and before we knew it, it was Sunday.

Shower was ace, separate toilet was useful, and the breakfast was great – other than some stupid child running around like a child, and another couple sitting next to us when the entire place was empty.

Went up to Stroud in the morning, and its quite a nice place, although the canal is crap, and then came home – knackered.

Good place, nice time – Cotswolds are generally great…..

What on earth is a RIAT you may wonder, and assuming you are not an aeroplane nerd you may not have heard about it – it’s in RAF Fairford and it is the Royal International Air Tattoo – and I went this year.

Evening before was supposed to be a careful one – it wasn’t – although not too much, just two much – and we were up and at ’em at 5:00 the next morning – shattered. Paul told us that there would be queues and I hate queues – so the idea was to get there early, before they started. We got there early – they had already started. Not sure what it was like later on, but the traffic was great until a few miles before, then because of a junction up ahead and some stupid police, there were queues. Also, not helping were a couple of selfish idiots on horses on the road – causing problems. Anyway – in not too long a time we got there, parked up with my front wheel against a cone and retrieved my squashed hat from the car.

As we walked over to the gate I was aware that most people had various picnic items, like umbrellas, chairs, cool boxes, camera’s some people even had little trucks to carry their gear in. I had a hat.

Once trough security it was the first visit to Andy Loo’s, which Kate thought was quite amusing – and past some planes. There were a lot of planes on the ground, and some helicopters and loads of simulation machines. And loads and loads of people staring at these planes and helicopters, taking pictures and gurning, and some even writing numbers in little books. I know people need a hobby, but these were adults for goodness sake – although there were a higher percentage of odd looking people here also.

I was starving at this point so sought out the food place and got a crappy hotdog, not realising that further down the airfield were more places, the next place was actually called something like “gormay sausages” so I missed a trick there. We continued walking and walking – the runway was long – until it was time for the planes to take off – we just missed the start, but got a virepoint for the first plane – a Vulcan I think – it was very impressive – the rumble from the afterburners was exciting, the power and maneuverability of the thing was very cool – I thought this might actually be fun. The next plane wasn’t so good, nor the next, or the next, or the next, or the next, or the next. We had found a place to sit, and it was a beautiful if a little hot. Lunch was well received – I had a burger, which was dry – but quite tasty, and then a pasty which was hot and tasty – I was so full I even saved the end of the pasty for later.

After lunch it was decided we were to move on, and unfortunately as we walked up the 50 mile runway we missed the Apache and its pyrotechnics and the Grippen – which was very impressive. Obviously we could still see the things as they were in the sky, and that is up in the air, but we didn’t have a good relaxed view – which was a shame. We camped down on the grass again, and watched the Red Arrows and some team like the Red Arrows but in blue, then another group like the Red Arrows but with Breitling written on them. Then before we knew it, it was time to go home. So we went.

Unfortunately as I pulled away I heard a little *tsschink* and didn’t think anything of it, but the steering was flabby and pulling to the left – I thought a puncture, so got out to look – didn’t seem to be – but the noise continued as I went around the runway, so I stopped again. Tires looked okay, but as they are stupid run flats its not always obvious. Looked under the car – nothing, then I notice the cone was stuck in the wheel arch. I tried to remove it, and some kind soul stopped to help. Sian and I had not though rationally for the first 30 seconds, so he just said – you need to jack it up and take the wheel off. Good idea dude – but no jack.

Luckily he flagged down a passing cone man, who in turn called an AA man who was on site, and he jacked the car up, and with a quick “left hand down” the cone was removed – woohoo!.

Quite liked the airshow, but it wasn’t really my bag – even though I did enjoy the day- probably won’t rush back – but when I do, I shall take a chair.

RIAT – 7/10

Sian’s birthday this weekend, so instead of going off somewhere special we went back to Pembs… Not that going back to Pembs is bad…

Friday night was Hawaii Five-Oh night, we were supposed to sit outside in our hawaiin stuff – but it started to rain at four, as soon as Sian got there – so we braved it for a short while then had to take our gear inside. Sian was on the Pimm’s as were a lot of the others, I stayed on Stella – as I know where I am with that, well I know where I am until I have had five of them, then remembering where I am becomes more and more difficult…

So the night wore on and people came and people left and the Pimm’s went down and new jugs were bought and many people had a giggle at whether they wanted a lai or not, and the Stella went down and down and down.. Then it was drunk o’clock – or to be precise just after drunk o’clock – or actual about seventeen minutes after drunk o’clock and we went home. I was tired, I wanted to go to bed, but chinese was on display and people, so I sat through it – with a “pissy face” as I was told the next day.

Saturday morning, and a little worse for wear we set off for sunny Pembrokeshire – okay trip and we found ourselves having a massive load of chips from a chippy in a petrol station, with great views into the countryside. Unusual, but okay – greasy food is just want you want with a hangover – maybe not quite so much if you are going “Wet and Wild”…

Down to St julian – just off St Davids and down to the sea to wait for the boat under the lifeboat station. Slightly confusing as we were not really greeted and sort of stood around for a bit. But eventually he came, took us out a little way and lifejacketed us up.. The jet boat goes quite fast and its rather exciting bouncing through the chop – unfortunately is was a very calm day, and pretty much on slack tide, so not as bouncy as it might have been. Near the beginning he gunned the engine and headed straight to Ramsey Island, doing what felt like 60 miles an hour into a sheer cliff-face was a little unnerving, but with meters to space he stopped on a tenner, and swung us around. We saw some birds, and more birds and some cliffs and some seals, and some more birds, and the bitches and more birds and lots of seals. We bounced and giggled and shouted and smiled as we jet boated around – Sian lost her shoe at one point when half the ocean came in (it was chilly) and the people opposite resuded it. We went in caves and saw more cliffs and at each stop point I was feeling more and more sick – it was hot when not moving, so the sickness rose, but before it overflowed we were off bouncing through the sea again. Just before we finished he took us to see some porpoises – Kate was in her element, it was nice.

Later on we all went down Little Haven for some nosh in bow ties and tiaras – and saw the sunset.

Next morning we were up at four, yep four in the morning, to head out to Plumb Stone “Mountain” to watch the sun rise. It was cold and quiet and surprisingly light. The sun came up. We went for macdonalds breakfast at 5:30.

Back home and over to Tintern for a walk, a couple of beers and a game of cards – then home, Chinese and bed. Knackered.

So one year since I did the last one, one year! One whole year – that is scary. Well, anyway, I didn’t do it this year, so no swim training for me over the last 4 months – instead, I went down to watch GD and have some pints – that is a far better approach.

So down the dreaded M4 at 3:30 on Friday, slow traffic almost immediately so we got off at Newport and went through Spytty and out by Tredegar House. Slow but possibly quicker – and the rest of the way was a bit stop start, but not too bad at all. Did rain like a mental case for a bit though.

So we were going to go out for some nosh, but instead we stayed in and got a ruby murry – from the Taj Mahal – but one time haunt in Haverfordwest. I have spent many many nights scoffing curry here, and I don’t think the curry has really changed in 20 years, its not as hot as it used to be though ;o)

Stayed at my folks for the night, then up early to get to Broad Haven before the 09:00 start. Searched out GD from 250 people in exactly the same outfits, and managed to give him a good luck before he set off for the swim – it was quite odd watching rather than eventing.

Had a cup of tea and ponced around for a bit, then we had a sit on the wall, and before we knew it GD had flown passed on his bike. We saw him on the beach and he looked really good, as he made his way up the hills to the finish. I met Mr Bradders then, so we went for a quick pint, and by the time we had supped it, we got to the beach just in time for GD to cross the finish, a smidge over three hours – very good.

Beers in the Ocean (the bar not the wet thing) with a pretty miserable bar man, then out the back of the Galleon for a few more Tortoises in the sun. Lovely. Left about 16:00 to get home and then out to the Pump on the Green.

We got to the pub, and it looked busy – we parked and all the locals stared at us, we went in and there was no one in the restaurant, but the miserable old get just said “No” when we asked for a table, I realise they may well have been fully booked, but a little more would have been nice. I will NEVER go there again. But then they are so busy they will hardly care….

So off to the Harp, and it was Sharp, right to the bottom of the glass. San Miguel and Mix Grill – super. The others had fish and crab and fish – Kate’s was massive! And she almost stuffed it all in.

Soon home, and to bed ready for an early return home on Sunday

Another quick run this morning, slightly different reversed route and another fine fine day. Not quite so hot on the return today and another very cold shower, but we were soon checked out and on the road to Richmond Park. This was just a quick detour to show the team the deer, and boy did we see some. I couldn’t look because there were half a million cyclists racing around – there must have been an event on, but we wasted a few minutes here and set off to park on the street outside Kew for 10:00. We got there a little early, and being British we sat in the car until 10, then into Kew for a mooch around. Its a little like being in a park, Kew, they had three greenhouses of which the biggest, best and most famous was shut for a 35 million quid make over, so we walked 10 miles and saw lots of grass and trees. We went up onto a very wobbly rusty iron structure which I hated as it had see though floors, so I walked around it in double quick time and then coming down the stairs I had to jump from beam to been as I rounded each corner, I did look like a right twerp.

Sat in the sun with another hot dog for lunch, then we went on a barefoot walk – which was very painful – and then it was three and time to go home. Hour and a half later we were home – nice one.

Hotel – 6/10

Wimbledon – 6/10

Shard – 7/10

Cable car – 6/10

Underwater walking – 6/10

Kew – 5/10

Busy time and we saw some sights we wouldn’t usually – almost running out of things to do in London now!!

Up with the commuters this morning and out in the sun for a run around Richmond town. Didn’t realise it would be so busy, so set off for a three miler around the place, and bumped into an old hotel I used to stay in called the Quinns – way back when I was working in the hospital. Got back and was sweating cobs, and just couldn’t get cool, I even had a cold shower – really cold – really very cold – but I was still sweating like a 70’s children show presenter.

Breakfast was in the old favorite – MaccyD’s – bacon baps and sausage muffins and we were ready to head into town. I bought the tickets today, and realised that you can use your friends and family rail card to buy the travelcards – so I saved about fifteen quids over mother who bought then yesterday. Quick spin overland first into Waterloo found us with loads of time to spare, so we took a stroll past the London eye and across Westminster bridge and into the throngs of mental tourists taking photos of themselves looking at various inanimate objects whilst causing traffic problems on the pavements. Not a moment too soon we were back downstairs into Westminster station and looking for the Jubilee line to London Bridge. Unfortunately some berk had got on the line, so Jubilee was shut. Quick panicky look at the map and we set off for Bank, then Northern line back to London Bridge – this detour cost some time, but we got out of the train and straight into the Shard queue.

A very polite bloke told us to queue up – over there, and then proceeded to tell another million people exactly the same thing with the same polite face and tone – why they don’t just employ a sign instead I don’t know – perhaps he was cheap? After a short wait we were on our way inside. Quick jimmy riddle for some of the party and we were into the first lift for the initial zoom up to the 38th floor. Then straight into another lift for the need zoom up to the 68th floor. The lifts are fast, 6m/s which is faster than grass grows, and pretty smooth. They also seem to work together – so as one goes down the other comes up, and when that one comes up the other goes down, you get the gist – I imagine there are other lifts for the hotel and office people, but we were shuffled into the View from the Shard lifts. Up at the viewing platform the views are rather spectacular – I hated it. I couldn’t get close to the windows, its so stupid, but I just found it quite odd. You could buy some expensive champagne here, and also walk up some more steps to the outside bit – which is pretty good, but even more frightening as you are now even higher! After some time people get bored of the height and terrific views and so the lift lifts you down to the floor again and the obligatory shop. Pop’s made me chuckle when he picked up a book with the Shard on the front and all blank pages – what kind of useless book is that he said…

Now time for luncheon, we walked through the station to Hayes Gallery and into Balls Bros. for some munch. It was nice in here, and they served Stella Black which I had never tasted before and we had sausages and burgers. As it was an all in ticket from my sister it was a fair price to be paid for the meal. After lunch we headed off to the mystery section of the day – which involved a train then DLR journey over to Royal Docks and a quick walk over to the Emarites Airline – which again had been kept quite quiet until the massive pylons gave the game away.  So a cable car over the Thames to the Millennium dome, or O2 as it is now called – the car was high, but I wasn’t quite so worried as I thought I might be. O2 is now quite impressive, loads of food places and beer places, so we had a quick sit down in another slug and then once sated headed back to the tube for the next exciting thing.

We made our way to Island Gardens and went to walk under water. Yes that’s right, we actually walked under water – under the Thames to be exact, and-we-didn’t-get-wet – wow!!!! Kate had not done it before, and I must admit when I was 10 I thought it was a little more impressive than it was this time, but its still pretty cool in a subway, walking and avoiding bikes sort of way. Emerging into the sunshine we took a quick walk past the Cutty Sark and over to the Yacht (what a silly spelling thing that is) were we sat right on the Thames with a massive window and had the worst (or best perhaps) barman ever. He was surely high on Cocaine and poured shorts like there was no tomorrow – Rum – he poured a quick whiskey for someone, diet coke, oh i put fat coke in that one – someone from the bar will drink that, a water and ice turned into a vodka and coke but in all he only charged for some, and it was quite entertaining,

Once finished we began the trek back across town to Richmond and just over an hour later we were in the Indian gulping down Cobra like the day before Ramadamadingdong. One not very hot Vinderloo and an hour later we were again finito. After a quick stop to get some water we were back in the hotel for a final Stella and back to sleep before 10:30.

So we went off on our yearly trip to the big smoke – this time we decided to stay slightly outside of London in Richmond-upon-Thames for a couple of nights, venturing into town on the Friday to visit the Shard. I also decided to drive up for a change – as it was Richmond and not in the city it seemed like a good idea. Its around 120 miles and we set off around 8:45 on he Thurs morning, and sailed through the M4 at a good clip and arrived n Richmond town just and hour and a half later. Its a straight run until Jnt 2, then turn right and follow the signs for Kew, then its a straight road for 5 mins and you are there.

We left the kit in the car, and we headed off into Richmond with a variety of clothing, the day may have rained or been sunny so preparation was the key – something pops excelled at! 15 minute walk into Richmond, and I took then through the green and onto the River proper, after 5 mins we were overcome with the charms of the slug and had our first drinky poos. At this point a google car came past so hopefully we will now be uploaded into the street view in Google for the Richmond river front. We then walked up te river a little way – specifically so that I could have a look at Steins – where they sell massive sausages and massive steins of Erdinger – I wasn’t allowed in. We walked back and went to the Pitcher and Piano for lunch – I had a second best hot dog, with a sausage which withered in comparison with those massive German bratwurst but it was washed down with a couple of pints of Peroni – which was nice.

Next up was the mystery tour, I manage to get them from Richmond to Southfields pretty much before they realised where we were going. IN order to help this I got them out at Putney and onto the underground at East Putney, unfortunately Wimbledon was mentioned there, so I think Ma had a good idea when we left the station. Anyway, Wimbledon is an odd place to visit, Wimbledon station is further away from the Tennis than Southfields, but even here is a 15 minute walk to the center – which we stormed through, in fifteen minutes.

We were slightly early, so after a baggage check with the efficient security waller we had a quick drink and a scone before the tour proper. Our tour mate Andy, was a bit of a cockney who took delight in lightly taking the piss of the foreigners of which there were loads. One German guy ran a translation to his children louder than Andy was talking, and Mr and Mrs India took picture after picture after picture. We saw No.1 court, Henmans Hill, the press center and Center Court – all quite impressive, but we couldnt see the changing rooms, or the tunnels, or much of the grounds which was disappointing – I would have liked to have seen the behind the scenes stuff. It lasted an hour and a half, but only really a few bits. The courts were very impressive, and perhaps one day I will go back there to watch something.

After the tour we had a brief look at the museum and then off back to Richmond – the day was on its way over by this time, so as soon as we got back we called into Pizzeria Rustica and had some nosh. Pop’s fish soup was the best thing ever, and my Pizza was adequate. Quite tired already we got some provisions from Tescos and wondered home for an early night, even though we had to check in and mother had to swap rooms as her’s stunk – I was snoring by 10:30.

What makes you happy? I wonder what does, for me I like nothing more than visiting new places, but also, and almost more importantly I love having a beer and some good nosh. Being in another diet in my head time, it seems quite sad that one would have to think about what food and drink you were allowed – that’s rubbish. So diet is only for the days when I don’t do anything “special” with the ability to raise an exception on certain days…

Been doing quite a lot of running over the last week or so, went for a 10K run which went well, but also 3-4 miles a day and finally got back onto my bike again this weekend. Not touched it since the CarTen, but went for a 35 miler and it was quite successful – however the GPS seems to be playing up a little now. It showed my max speed of 84 mph – which I think it a touch ambitious.

So we headed off to Trowbridge, because we have not been there before – it was rubbish – the highlight was watching some Chinese people walk down the street opposite us.

I am not sure it has any redeeming features – Bradford-upon-Avon on the other hand was very lovely. The problem with places like this is that its a swine to park, we circled the car park like a bmw shaped eagle until we lucked upon someone leaving and squeezed into a slot. Its quite picturesque Bradford – very unlike the hole in the world that is the northern one, and we mooched and had a drink (at which point I was very keen to stay over, but there were no hotels free) and had a great munch in the pub. After that we went for creme teas in a hotel so old it might as well have been a cave, where the serving wenches went up and down tiny stairs continuously. I had a diet coke – so much for English tea dude.

After having our fill of Bradford (will take the train next time) we then set out for Castle Coombe – sounds rubbish, and is mostly famous for the racing circuit, but the village is a revelation. Many places seem to have the title of prettiest village in England and the most picturesque – well this is the real deal. Unfortunately the only crap part is all the stupid tourists walking up and down the streets. Its small, quaint, has a river and a bridge and loads of honey houses and to make it perfect it also has two pubs. We sat outside one, but as I was driving I had no interested what so ever so forced Sian to neck her wine and got back to the car asap. Would be a great place to have a walk from – or shoot a film.

Came home after that.

So it was me ‘old dears’ birthday over the weekend – so she took us down to Cardiff to stay for a couple of nights in the capital. Mum and Dad came down by train and arrived into the city around twoish, so I came into Cardiff to work from the Bay in the morning, and took the train into Cardiff from Cogan – just a ten minute journey into town.

So by two thirty I was in the Marriott bar and having a sneaky little Stella. My gang (well half of them) arrived around 4:30 and the rest a little later. After a quick check in and a couple more Stella’s then a move onto Lowenbrau – a lager I have not seen for some time. Guaranteed a head ache later..

Early food today, so a quick trot over to Park Place and Giovani’s by the New Theater. Unfortunately, and as usual, I picked the wrong thing – I had the veal, in breadcrumbs which was pretty tasteless – the others had a variety of tasty things and I think in general the food went down very well. I had a beer or two and somehow a bottle of red wine also appeared which I shared with not many people I seems. Quite a good venue, the staff were nice and the owner came and took some photo’s and brought my mum a desert with a candle in it and we sang Happy Birthday.

Little walk home, then a quick beer before beddy byes.

Next day, and with a thick head we met in the bar before breakfast to give out our gifts. My sister and I shared a present, but as I gave it to her, she thought it was from me – so I told her to read the card with it, and then she thought it was just from Claire – it was slightly more amusing in real life. Kate gave her a list of 70 things she loves about grandma – all hand written, which I think went down quite well.

After a massive breakfast of meat and bread and one hash brown, we got ourselves sorted for the trip to the Bay. This time we thought we would try the water taxi, which goes from the castle and dumps you in the Bay. Some of them stop off in Penarth, but ours didn’t so we walked out to the barrage. It was getting to be quite a pleasant day int he end, and they had ice-creams at the stall, and the children played in the park for a bit. I showed them the amazing yellow rings on the barrage, but no one thought anything of it, so its just me that likes it, and I will not bother showing anyone else.

Over to the pub just by the barrage for lunch – which due to having a massive breakfast was just a couple of pints – quite a nice place though – probably does do good food. We had booked into Cote for 5:30 so moseyed back into the bay, and sat around having a beer or two in the wind, then the rest of my gang came, and one beer later it was time for food. Slightly better choice this time, I had beef bourgeoisie which was okay, but small, and so was the beer – 1664 in a dolls bottle.

We walked back from the Bay and the children went by train – we got back before them – its only a short stroll back into town, but I have never done it before (other than running it in the Cardiff Half). So we had a final couple of beers in the bar and I tried very unsuccessfully to do some magic tricks with the rubbish cards – then matchmakers and peanuts and bed.

Another morning and loads of bacon and bread, then train home at 10:15.

Nice.

So this year I had to squeeze in some leave some we managed to get out into the country for a couple of Wednesdays – these are the pubs I had never been to before:

First stop was a little place in Caerwent which I had gone past a number of time but never stopped. We entered the Coach and Horses to be greeted by nothing at all, no punters and no staff. We stood by the bar for a little bit and then I snuck around to the “dining room” and managed to get someones attention. Once attended to we had a little beer – which I think I may have had 1664, but it may have been Stella I cannot remember. We threw a couple of darts – we are very shit, and perched on the lonely bar stools. They seemed to have a few in the food bit around the corner, but obviously there are not many alcoholics in Caerwent (unless we were a little early for them). There was a pool table which had no price on, and they had a bit of a beer garden, so might be one to pop back to if we ever get some sun (we could probably cycle to it in the summer).

6/10 (until the summer?)

Shirenewton, the town that supposedly is not called Shire-Newton, its called shurnewtun – which seemed a bit stupid to me – but then I didn’t name it. Another place I have been through many times and often thought about stopping, but never did – at one point I thought it would be a great place to retire to – they do have a couple of pubs at least. We visited the Tredegar Arms – Tredegar must be something relevant in these parts as a few places have this name – the only one I know is on the edge of Newport, so perhaps Mr Tredegar splashed his wealth all over the place. I don’t quite recall why, but I actually had some lunch in this place, and they did me a very adequate fish finger baguette, which I rather enjoyed. The lager selection was rubbish – Fosters being the best of a bad bunch – but it had just run out, so I had a bottle of San Miguel instead – fancy that lunch and a bottle of lager – ain’t I all continental all of a sudden. We sat in the Window seat, which was nice, and the rest of the bar was full of tables, but I thought it was okay – the view was just of the road.

7/10

Chepstow has a lot of pubs – most of them cack, and this one didn’t disappoint. It was cack too. The place itself is okay inside, a little olde worlde, but a good variety of lager, and a big sign outside saying that it won something to do with those beer loving freaks – Camra. Obviously Camera know cock all about lager, because both the Stella and Amstel were warm. Warm lager is for teenagers and poor people, and I loves an Amstel me – I couldn’t finish it. But as a softy poof I didn’t even mention it to the landlord as I left. It had old fashion “naughty” postcards in the toilet – that sums it up really – should have stayed in the past. So Coach and Horses, I wont return.

4/10 (If the lager comes out cold it would raise a point or two)

OMG! Never been in the Kings Head in Chepstow, not sure I will again. This is like someones front room, it had, what I guarantee is the resident piss head woman, propping up the bar, and two geezers one relaxing on the customers side of the bar, the other fiddling with a laptop. Customer ran around the bar and took our order – Stella for us, and thank god it was cold (Coach and Horses was just before). We sat on suitably sticky, marked tables and had a little chat, next think the boom boom boom of some type of youngsters musics ripped though the speakers. Person number two had managed to get his laptop to talk to the pubs speakers – wonderful. He was playing something from his Facebook page, and busting some moves by the bar. He was quite funny, he sounded to “posh” to be a bad boy, but he certainly wanted to be know as one. His moves got more erratic and then him and his mate stepped out for a smoke – just after blasting this shit heap music on. The lager was okay – and they were quite friendly in there, I can imagine it gets rammed at night time with all the young crowd – it would probably be nice to get drunk in there until you got stabbed, but I think I will probably give it a miss in future.

6/10 (extra point for comedy value)

What a weekend of excess. Pub on Friday for too many, then too much food on Sat (even though I managed to go for a decent 30 mile cycle) then big breakfast, big picnic and a load of pork – good job its not Mother’s Day every weekend.

The boys managed to get back this weekend, Ant was back in good time on the Friday, and Tom managed to arrive about 7 on Sat evening. So after a huge Chinese we rested our weary heads ready for the Wye. We had arranged to leave at 10:15 – we didn’t, as we never do – but only 20 minutes late we left, in the two car convoy for Symonds Yat. Tiny roads and a parking space in the mud, which my rear wheels didn’t like too much but we had arrived and the canoe owners didn’t mind too much that we were a fraction late.

Very bossy woman got us into our life jackets a little red crop top affair (even though we were on the concrete and 5 miles form getting into the river), we then got an oar, a map, and a barrel to put our picnic in and were directed onto the vehicle for transfer. I felt sick in the van. We got there,carried our (heavy) three man canoes down to the river and stood through the tremendously important safety briefing then I got my far ass into the canoe and although besieged by a load of two-maners we were away. It takes a little getting used to in a boat like this – they are quite stable, but you do feel a little vunerable until you get used to it. We took our time and waited for the chuckle brothers (and sister) to emerge. They were going quite fast, but not in a particularly straight line – it seemed perhaps there was more power on one side than the other, and the steering may have been slightly erratic. They certainally used all the river though, and the bank, and the trees – the ducks were dumbstruck.

We intended to get off at the first pub, but half an hour in we felt like we may have missed it – the signs on the river are rubbish, well they are not there in fact. So you have no idea where you are or how far you have gone. The water proof map was only good for being able to withstand water, as the river was so small it was impossible to see where you might be at any time. But as we headed around the island (to the left as instructed) we saw some white water. White water generally means one thing – rocks. We scooted around and took a tiny bit of the current, the keystone cops however managed to drive directly at the largest rock in the river and “beach” themselves. We sailed away as Ant managed to get out and rescue them from certain peril. Given their rubbish control they really truly could not have done that if they had meant to.

As we realised that the pub was now just a simple thought, we looked for a landing platform, we found a shingle beach and pulled up. Once on terra ferma I took the opportunity to move a little way down the beach and have a quick Jimmy. Once the rest had abandoned ship we sat on the bank (where there were loads of spiders I saw, so I stood) and ate our enormous picnic. The the other party would had shred our lift to the river arrived, and pulled in, with Ant bay watch sprinting through the river to save them and pull them in –  *a little way down the beach* luckily they did not say and sit in the the little sand river I had created. After some time, and a little bit of drying we set off, we got in and headed off, when the Marx brothers (and sister) tried to get off the shore. I watched in wonderment as Tom literally rolled into the boat, causing a slight disturbance in the stability and within 2 (very slow motion) seconds to my eyes watched in amused fascination as they capsized. Ant seemed to just step out, but Becs pretty much did an Eskimo Roll, and was drenched, you could plainly see her slightly “put out” expression from 100 yards down river.

From here we thought there might have been another pub, but none to be seem so we just rowed back to the start – pausing slightly for Kate to jump in so she was wet as well as the others. We docked and were then told to bring our canoes up the steps and back to the lot – they were heavier than before.Then a quick Peroni outside the Ferry Inn – we braved the car park and headed home.

Back on the cycle at the moment, have the CarTen in about seven weeks – 100 miles from Cardiff to Tenby, so I need to get back used to putting the miles in. I bought a new bike when we were Ooop North, but it still has not come – I hope it wil this week, because the creaking and clicking on my current bike is doing my swede in.

Out at 7:30 and it was a little chilly, I really should have worn my tights, but by that time it was too late, 10 miles in and things were okay, apart from my tootsies which were frozen – nice ride, tiring, as I am not used to it yet – but 33 miles not bad before 9:30.

Sian had decided to visit the boys in Swansea this weekend, so although Tom had forgot and buggered off to meet up with his bird, we took ourselves and Becs down to visit. For a change I sat in the back, and dozed there and back – now that’s living alright – like having a chauffeur although I don’t think Sian is too keen on being the driver, but it was a wonderful day off.

Got down to the student digs and picked up Ant, then into Swansea center and a couple of detours before we parked up. Ant took us to a place called the Smoke Haus, which was pretty damn good. They had all sorts of American type meet and bread – hot dogs, burgers, pulled pork the full nine yards. I was completely undecided and my Coors didn’t help matters, but eventually I picked the Brisket – I shouldn’t have. It was okay, but really i was expecting something out of Man Vs Food, all wet and dripping and thick – but it wasn’t like that. Quite tasty though and surprisingly filling. Rest of the nosh went down well, so a thumbs up for the Hous, will try somewthing else if we return.

After lunch it was time for the pilgrimage to the bowling alley – a very convenient thing to do on a Sunday in Swansea, sixty quid for two games mind – no wonder it wasn’t packed. But I did get to sneak in a couple of San Miguels. First game was a very tight affair with Becs leading up until the 9th, when I stuck out, and then finished with three strikes in the 10th, poor old Becs lost 131 to 133 – close. Second game was a different matter – four beers in, I was back to my professional form – all those years ago as “The Medics” bowling for Withybush – and slotted in a 203, probably the highest I have had since I retired. So that was the two frames all over. We dropped Ant back at his digs, and I spent the majority of the trip home having a little doze – epic.

Smoke Haus – 7/10

Got a blumming speeding ticket this week. During our trip Oop North I passed a sly police van on the way out of Gateshead – on a duel carrage way, which our sat nav said was national speed limit, but did have some 50 signs on – also stuck in the fast lane between two cars to tossers pinched me at 62 in a 50. I saw them and slowed as I got close, so I can only imagine the clocking was done some significant distance from the van. I know its my fault for “breaking the law” but it wasn’t obvious, and the road was perfect, it was 9:00 in the morning, perfect visibility and I was running with the other cars – so that’s it, I am never going to Newcastle again – hateful place ;o)

So this week we thought we should get out, and we visited Cardiff.

We went, we parked, we walked, we shopped, we ate Nando’s and visited the Museum. Then we came home.

It didn’t rain.

The great Sherwood Forest, Robin Hood, someone who didn’t like him and bloody Brian Adams – all nothing like you heard they were.

Another earyish start from Newcastle and thirty mins down the road stopping for some McDonalds. Breakfast Wrap and a bacon roll for greedy chops, normal food for the rest. The trip down was about three hours but again we had quite a good run, until we got into Nottinghamshire, where all the roads had 50 mile an hour speed limits and average speed camera’s. I would kill something if I lived there (or perhaps avoid the roads?) – but we got into Nottingham and took a diversion into a residential street to find a Windmill. We almost gave up, but find it we did and quite good it was too. Another free visit, it is a working mill, and you can go inside and see the bits that hurt and maim you. Quite liked that in a Good Life sort of way.

Once semi checked in we followed the map into Nottingham itself and walked the canal to find the castle – we saw a house on a hill with a Welsh flag flying (it was St David’s Day) and carried on expecting something more castle like. We were disappointed. We went for a beer on the canal side, two pubs were completely packed, one had no one in. We had a drink in the one no one was in – Sian said it was the worst wine she had ever had (and she’s had a few), but my 1664 was okay. We sat outside as it was sunny, but then a load of people came and the sun buggered off, so we left.

It was getting a little late now, so we headed for a pub we had passed earlier right next to the so called castle which offered fish and chips. Now this was more like it, a really nice place, which was quiet and gave you fish and chips in a box, with “real” vinegar and wooden knives and forks., They dropped a bollox with our order and brought the wrong things out, so as an appology they offered us a free round – can’t be bad – I almost said no – but just couldn’t make myself. When the food came it was good along with curry sauce and gravy.

After food we went to the caves under Nottingham – they were fully booked – we didn’t do so well on attractions. So instead we walked back to the hotel to checkin. Room was good, all newly renovated – but there were 10 lads checking in before us – on a stag do – and on our floor, and next to our room – you can guess what happened later. So after the check in we headed back into town and to a slightly odd place where I had a grolsh, then we traipsed around Nottingham firstly following some ice hockey fans to see where they were going (we didn’t realise they were ice hockey fans when we started stalking them) then found the only pub which looked like it might allow Kate in. It was a “rock” pub, or at least a pub with rock music on the jukebox. We had a couple of beers listening to AC/DC and Stiff Little Fingers – and then Suspicious Minds – so it wasn’t all rock!

The Indian street was just over the road, so we went to the highly recommended one – they poured scorn on us when we said we haddn’t booked, so we tried the next “best” also packed, so we went to another, and there was plenty of room, they took our coats and were very very friendly. It may have been a quid or two more than the others (maybe, not even sure that was the case) but I really enjoyed it. Tiger beer on tap and a great Chilli Chicken Curry went down a storm. It was relaxed, and friendly and I really enjoyed it. Then we staggered home.

Nottingham – 7/10

Hotel – 8/10

Whey aye, Howay the lads, gun doon toon and all that nonsense we were heading for the Toon mun.

Had breakfast included here as it was the cheapo hotel, only £35 then 15 for brekkie – had in the TGI’s – which was sticky and not really as clean as you might like. But the toast was great, the butter was tasty and the meet was hot. Let the hotel at a reasonable time and headed out of Leeds and up the variations of the M/A1 towards Scotland. We had about 2.5 hrs to drive this morning and we flew for most of it. A lot of the motorway was quiet and we got up to treble figures on occasion – before we knew it we finally arrived at the Angel of the North. Which, sneaks up on you when you are coming from the South – it is in quite an odd place to be honest, we did notice coming back it looked a bit better, up on the hill, but coming from South you can barly see it until you are on top of it. Its a shame because the motorway takes you past some very open countryside and that would have been a great place for it – but anyway, it didn’t seem as big as expected, so we stopped for a look. It is quite big.

Only just outside Gateshead, so within 15 mis we descended the overly complex streets to the second hotel. The location was amazing (or so I thought) just under the Tyne bridge, which is an amazing iron construction, the block we were on was an good old fashioned square, imposing building which looked just like the home of the main character of GTA IV. I loved it.

The room wasn’t so great. We headed out to the Millennium Bridge, and across to Gateshead and back – which was a brilliant introduction to the better side of Newcastle. Fistly though we stopped in the Slug, which was next door because we had promised Kate she could have the Pud she was going to have yesterday before we were kicked out for being too young. It was clean and bright and really quite nice. We managed to get up the hill into town a little way for a quick pint in the Pleased to Meet you – then headed back towards the hotel for a pie for lunch. The pie was nice – in a real old fashioned place with little rooms and low ceilings – the Red House, they had specially made pies which were nice, with a tasty mash and gravy.

After lunch we mooched around Newcastle proper, and here we saw the slightly underwhelming part – where as the first part had been like Bath, the second half need one. Bus stations are always a bit crappy, and although it wasn’t awful, it just didn’t quite live up to the initial expectation.. Saw St James Park and “Chinatown”, and went down to the discovery center which was closing at four so we had to be quick – as it was already four when we got there we just couldn’t quite manage to be quick enough. So we headed back to check in.

Room was okay – not great, so we left after one of us managed a quick snooze (can’t quite remember which one of me it was) and ended up in The George as the town was filling up nicely with young boozers and there were bouncers everywhere. After a couple of beers here, we let Kate decide where to go so she picked Pizza Express – we went to the one down the road and although there were no people there – it was booked out. (Oddly the Slug had reserved tickets on (for 7:00pm+) when we got there at 11:30. Luckily there had another one, which was like a goldfish bowl in the shopping center which we managed to get into and stuff our fat faces with bread and cheese and meat. Tasty.

The toon was too scary after that, so we headed home after picking up some water and went for another early night.

Newcastle – 8/10

Hotel – 6/10

We have decided to spend some time up in the North of Englan. It is half term with us this week – where as England have already had theirs, so we can make the most of the quietness and visit some places we have not been. As it happens Day 1 was Leeds, chosen because Newcastle is too far away and we have been to Sheffield more times than Leeds.

Up and at them early doors, and managed to get away for 8:30 – great and quiet journey up to the first stop of Rotherham, and we made pretty good time – although the bloody roadworks before Sheffield were a right pain. They have about 15 miles of works, with average sped check all the way along it – so you have to do 50 – not that everyone did. I do wonder if these average camera’s are actually on half the time. Anyway, after a slow drive we eventually got to the Rotherham turn off and headed to Magna Park.

The reason for this pause in the journey was that this is where Planet X live. They are a bike shop, who seems to sell lots and lots of bikes and are amazingly cheep compared to other places. I was looking for a new racer, on a carbon frame wit the new Ultegra 6800 groupset. The price in Planet X is very competitive if you compare with Ribble and Cannondale etc. As this will probably be my last bike – I really wanted to push the boat out. Nice place on the Magna estate. Next door (almost) they have the “factory” where they do the builds – although all the frame are manufactured in China or somewhere like that – they are all designed by Planet X thought, to their specification and tolerances (so they say). The showroom has quite a few bikes on display – but apparently no place to test different frame sizes – which seems incredible if you think people are dropping 1500 – 6000+ quid on a bike – I suppose if you did buy a very expensive one they may push the boat out a little more? Had a small tough looking chap who was a bit crap as a salesman, and I was a bit crap as a customer – Sian piped up – “Why don’t you get this one” which was 500 quid more, and I was tempted – but that takes it to silly money and also the other one looked like an advert. So five minutes later and I am sitting the the car pondering whether I did the right thing, and ruing the fact I didn’t upgrade the wheels – as it would be £220 and he seemed to think I didn’t need them – what does he know?.. (Update: the following Weds I called and got the upgraded wheels for an extra £130)

After the little pit stop we were back on the little run up to Leeds, it rained a bit whilst in the car, and once we got to Leeds we sat in TGI for a quick bite to eat it rained some more. But once we had finished our burgers and chicken the sun had almost come out. We took a mosey along the canal in Leeds, something I had not done before and it was an okay walk – very quiet, until we got to the Armories – free to get into and a really impressive array of weapons and armor. We were under slight time pressures so we whizzed around and it was well worth the visit – then we went into town proper to search out an appropriate boozer.

Finding a pub was not as simple as we first though – initially we didn’t want to do the regulars and wanted to see a little a Leeds so we meandered around the center until we got to the other side, and somewhere I almost recognized from the days I used to spend in Leeds and fell into Mr Follys Ale House. They had Erdinger here – but nothing like I had ever seen before – it was cloudy, but it also had an odd name, so I still dont know whether it was crap beer, or supposed to be like that – it tasted okay, but did look pretty fowl.

Next stop was the Slug and Lettuce – we know they are generally okay with children, and we knew we were going to have a Chinese later, so thought we could get Kate something. Couple of Peroni’s later Kate is just about to order her dessert and the server says we should have left half an hour ago! Something to do with the council and they cannot have children after I thin it was 7:00 or maybe half six. Anyway we had to gulp it down a little bit, but we managed and set off for the Chinese. We had heard good things on trip advisor.

People on Trip Advisor are either liars, stupid, or have never eating good Chinese. Servers were a little abrupt but the Prawn Crackers were loverly. Satay chicken was insipid, and warm and the mains were some of the most tasteless stuff I have ever tried since Phil came round last and I tried some of his Number 32 Special Bland, Boiled Chicken with Bland Sauce. Managed to sink a couple of 1664’s though – so not all bad.

Hotel was just across the road – not bad – average Premier Inn standard – reasonably comfy, clean and a good shower – I slept.

Leeds – 6/10

Chinese – 4/10

Kates birthday on Monday so we have had my Mum and Dad up from Friday and my sister up on Saturday so we needed to get out and about man.SO on FRiday we decended on the Lion in town for an early doors bit of nosh – which was pretty good – I had the burger which was great – but the chips were not. Pops had a stew with the smallest dumpling ever – luckily we got the waitress and he had a load more sent over, and the rest had an adequate gammon. Just a couple of beers and then back for the rugby where Wales stuffed France – good times..

Saturday Claire arrived – and Kate let out a little yelp when she was surpised by her – so we set off for Chepstow. We come here quite a lot and there isnt too much here, but it is good enough to waste a few hours in. First stop was the overly complex parking meter, where the guy in front managed to win his money back, but no ticket, then he won his ticket. Then a quick walk down by the castle and a stroll over the iron bri9dge which takes you from Wales to Engerland – in the middle you can be in both places at once. It was windy and rubbish in Engerland, so we came back.

We had a waltz though the town and popped into the smith and jones pub at the top for some light refreshment. An odd array of quite reasonable food was provided – nothing great, in fact not even that good – but was edible, and then it was off to Tintern again.  To start we went up the 365 steps – which really felt like 365 steps and had a slip and slide around in the mud – once slightly tired we set off for the village itself..We parked, we looked, we got confused and then we went to the pub because to park you have to pay £3 which is refundable if you buy a drink. I had water.

We had a little confusion when we left as to where everyone was but we managed to get home and after some poncing about ordered a nice big ruby murry. I liked it, Ant ate four, yes four, onion bajis with his.

Next day we headed off Tesco to pick up some stuff and then did something which for the life of me I cannot rememeber.

On Monday, which was Kates birthday proper I had to spend the morning waiting for the gas man to come back and give me a saftey certificate, then we went to Celtic Manor for a walk, which involved walking around the golf course – slightly confused. Then we went to see the Lego Movie which was “awesome, everything was awesome” then home and a small for me pizza hut.

And that was the weekend of the 22nd Feb. It was nice.

Watched the Hobbit this weekend – what a pile of short arsed, hairy footed nonsense. Three hours which just says that someone finds a ring – that’s it. I preferred Lord of the Rings.

Me old mucker Phil came down this weekend – he was going to come on Friday, then Thursday night, then in the end about lunch time on Sat. Kate had gone to the pictures, so we nipped out to Tintern was a quick walk – a walk which entailed us walking from the car, to the pub and back to the car. It was drizzly, but was nice to get out of the house.

When we got back we went into the village for a beer or two, Phil had to get a sandwich, so we asked some of the locals to give him a great cheer when he finally arrived – he looked slightly surprised when a number of people shouted “Hi Phil, hows things” as he walked in… After a few beverages we headed home for a Chinese – originally expecting to eat at 6:30 it finally came around 9:00.

Phil buggered off the next day – on his way to Cardiff, so I took the gang on a mystery tour. I put my name down for the CarTen again this year, 1400 hundred spaces and it was full in four hours – amazing. I am also hoping to do one of the usual yearly cycles with the boys, although we haven’t decided on a destination yet. So due to all this I am going to splash out on a new bike, so first off I wanted to have a look in what I thought would be a massive bike superstore (after seeing their website), which actually was a little bike shop.  The shop was on the way and when we got there the rain was torrential – but we continued in case it dried up, and it did. We headed off to Cwmcarn which is well known as a off-road mountain bike downhill place – but it also apparently had some walks. We got there and it was reasonably empty and completely rainless. After a quick shufty in the visitor center we headed out for the trails. It was okay. At one point we had an opportunity to jump across a raging torrent – it was only a couple of feet across, but Kate was a little hesitant – then she went for it – aaarrrgggghhhhh she screamed as she sailed though the air.

I think we will go back here again in the Spring, as they have a 6 mile walk which I think we will do.

So first day of the entire year when it hasn’t poured down with rain. And the first main trip out was to wonderful Bath. It was a lovely, if slightly chilly day, and we set off in Bec’s car to the train station. Even with four of us, the cost was only £26 with a “group saver”, meaning that we actually paid for four adults which worked out cheaper than 3 and 1 child on a railcard. Anyway with station parking it was less that thiry quid – wouldn’t have been that price in the car…

So we pulled into Bath station after a leisurely 40 minute chuff, and immediately I realised yet again that I didn’t quite have enough clothes on – not meaning I had forgotten my trousers, just that is was chilly enough to allow for another jumper perhaps. Every part of Bath is now great, it must be one of my favorite cities, it has new shops, old architecture, buskers a plenty, pubs, restaurants, tiny alleys, big parks and its all pretty compact. Today saw bright sky’s and a manageable number of shoppers, we had a little mooch around then into a pub. This place had the beginnings of a stag do (which seemed a lot more sophisticated than some I have seen) and a weird, short Chinese student who severely lacked any type of social skill demanding to know why BT Sport was not playing on the TV’s – I am pretty sure he didn’t even have a drink.

After a quick read of the paper, we investigated a street we normally don’t go down and found some lights which were on a magnificent sale, so we bought two – then more mooching until lunch. We thought we would try FireHouse, which looked good, it mentioned pizza and chicken, but we didn’t look at the menu until we arrived. We walked in and the first thing the bloke said was “Do you have a reservation” – I would have liked to have left then. But we followed him upstairs and to our seats. One quick glance at the menu and it was clear this was not pizza express, so we just got back up, put our coats on and left. I legged it quickly to leave Bec’s and Kate to do any explaining – luckily the guy was to busy with his reservationists to notice.

So a little wonder later and we found ourselves outside the Slug and Lettuce, which are sometimes a little ‘WeatherSpoonish’ but this was nice, and as we had arrived early we had a great seat – Perroni and a super duper burger – it was really quite good.

The one problem with being on the train is that you have to plan ahead for leaving, so we walked around and had a look in the variety of shops and places until nearly time to leave, we then had to walk all the way to the lamp shop and carry the lamps 30 miles back to the train station – me being super efficient ensured that we actually got back to the train station half an hour earlier than we needed to – so we sat in the cold, with our lamps.

Great day in Bath – love it. 8/10

So this is Christmas, and now New Year, so I thought  had better mention a few things of which I couldn’t be bothered to mention whilst Christmas was in full swing:

Bristol – went to Bristol for a pint and a burger for Christmas with the crew. It was a good day, we started in the Green House which is pretty good and do decent food, then we braved the weather to Christmas steps to find the sugar loaves shut. So we went to zero degrees, where they make there own beers. After a couple in here we went over to the Ship Inn. It was pouring down now. Then we went to the Sugar Loaves as it had now opened, then over to the smallest pub in Bristol, the White Lion. Then we stumbled over to the Kebaab house and just about caught our train back home. Good Times.

Friday was Black Friday – and it was shit. Quiet, but I did manage to have more than three drinks. There were a load of police vans outside the Mango House around 10:30, when we stumbled past on the way home.

Sunday was non electricity day. So we walked up to the Rose, and had a pint as they were already booked solid for lunches. After a coup0le of three we went home to attempt to play games in the dark and eat food. I felt ill again, as I tend to do on non-electricity days. We also had a candle in the toilet which we didn’t realise was an outside one, and it left a load of black smoke trails all around the room.

Monday we popped over the Lion with Paul and his dudes for lunch. Lion really are doing goof food now, didn’t eat much, but managed a couple of beverages.

Christmas day had a slow beginning this year. No one was up early, except for me and Sian, so I went fdor a quick run in the morning – which was nice. Only saw one car (but heard a couple more) and was back and showered before we woke the crew. Spend the morning in the kitchen running though the list of timings for the food. We had duck and turkey this year – it was pretty good. Presents after lunch, and I had a surprisingly good haul – which I didn’t expect.

Back to Pembs on the Friday, Kate went to a Panto (Oh yes she did), and we visited people. Then food, then next day we spent at the inlaws and eat too much again. Sunday we had lunch then decided to leave early afternoon to get home.

New Year week was quiet, went for a walk behind Chepstow racecourse as we had not been there before. And had a quiet New Year with a couple of films and a massive Indian. Weather has been shocking all week storms and loads of rai9n, so hoping it will get a little better before I have to return to work…..

So in the film “In Bruges” there are a couple of scenes which are in the Bell Tower in the central square, they are movie magic unfortunately – and in real life the changes are quite significant. I did take a photo of where I think Ken crawled his way back up the tower – but he would never had made it.

So, had a nice weekend in Bruges or BROOGuh as a barman told us – this is a place that was named after a  film and lives in Belgium – a place famous for Chocolate and Poirot and, um, well nothing else. We drove up to Bruges on the Friday morning – leaving home around 06:00 and trundling up the M4 in the dark. We made good time and stopped just before the Chunnel to get a newspaper and a bacon buttie, then onto the wonderful Chunnel on the slightly earlier train about 10:20. What a fantastic business this chunnelling is, sailed through passport control, and didn’t get pulled by the police – although Paul had a gun in the boot which would have taken a little bit of explaining.

Drive upstairs onto the train, the we drove for ages actually inside the beast, then stop, engine off, segments closed and within 10 mins we were underground and undersea. After winning 64,000 pounds on “Who wants to be a millionaire”, after running 20 episodes of it – we came out into sunshine. Only about 30 mins across the sea, and another 10 mins and we were on the wrong side of the road and looking at all the silly building in this foreign climes. Straight off the train and into the motorway, then passed an oddly spelt Newport a little bit of traffic and then we arrived – around 13:00 Eurotime. Thanks to Mr Sat Nav we turned up just outside of the hotel and after a bit of faffing we headed off to the BatCave. The hotel had an underground carpark, which had a number pad which wasn’t very good at allowing codes to be inserted, but we finally managed and checked in. Nice big room, second floor on the Martin’s Relais  and 15 mins later we were off and running.

Bruges is nice – there is no denying that, it may not be  ” like a fackin fairytale town” as ‘Arry describes it in the film, but it is nice – at least the central main tourist bit is, and the canals are okay and they serve beer which is like lager. We did the first thing all tourists do, and that was to wander aimlessly around until you have gone passed the same thing four times, at which point you wander for no more than 10 minutes and stop at a place that sells alcohol and sit down and re-group. So we did that. We had some sandwiches type food and a few samples of the local brew – which in this case was a Pilsner Urquell. I then had to leave them have a final half, as I needed to pick up my coat and to drop “something” off at the hotel. Was back before they finished, then we walked around again. Found ourselves outside the “Irish bar”, which was like no Irash Bar I had ever been in, not because it didn’t look authentic – it had a bar and some seats, but it was the slowest bar I have ever been in. The poor server was a complete retard, and the sod in front of us ordered some type of exotic coffee beverage. There was also a man coming up and down out of the floor behind the bar. This is where Jupiler became our new favorite lager. After a quick drink after the long order, we tried a couple of other places, which were heaving and went back to somewhere we had seen previously on the journey – to try and get a drinkies. We ended up having a drinkies and some foodies in the Habit – which was good and bad. The beer (Brugse Zot until I realised the price and then large Stella’s) was good and we had a nice time before supper, and then decided that it was best to stay where we were to eat. The wasn’t wasn’t so good, especially the sausage with “magic potato”. Magic potato could be better defined as “Green poo potato”, I wont bother to describe them just see what I say – oh they were runny also. That special dish also came with a piece of gammon which had been hanging around for months – which was not as nice as you might expect. Reasonable price though, and the other three meals were fine. After this we had a number of extra Jupilers in a remarkable place which stayed open until 8 in the morning – 9:30 on a Saturday – and he said it didn’t really get going until 3 in the morning – and in the week – amazing, I was frequently amazed by this – each large one made me amazed again. We had a good chat to the guy at the counter and all in all, although it was very quiet here, cos we were early it was a good place to get ‘faced. After a few of these we went to get some water and then home, quite squiffy I think its fair to say.

Second day and a bad head, only wore my jumper again like a silly monkey, and after tea and croissants we walked the canals for a while, until we found the boats – early doors there was only a little queue, by the time we returned it was massive. Quite a nice journey, a little cold! but you did get to see things and gain a vague idea of where things were. At this point we decided to walk down one of the roads we had not been on. At the end of this bit we got to the swans, and the monastery – both of which were only slight less boring than a drill. After some more wandering we needed food and finally decided on a place where the server was a complete doofas. All I wanted was a pizza, with no tomato – unusual maybe, but not the most complex order in the world. He looked at me with his stupid foreign face and squeezed out a slight bit of English, then looked again with a face like someone who had just woken up to find his life was actually a vivid dream by a old hairless dog who lived with a tiny Saxon nun on a roundabout in Swindon, and said the chef was too busy. Oooh. At least we got away with a free round here ;o)

After this we decided to split up and us men went to the pub. We picked a “Blues” bar, which was pretty good – we only had a quick one, then it was four and we met up by the tower. By the time we all got there we just missed the entrance to the steps, so instead we walked off to another bar which was too full and so we went back to the Blues bar where I almost got fleaced by the barman, and being British I was too embarrassed to say, but when we had the next, Paul picked him up on the price and fair play to the guy he took out a tenner from the till and let me have it. Now that’s service. After this it was back to a food place just opposite the one we went to yesterday – this one was called “the hobbit”, we tried the bar with a million beers before hand but it was packed again (I thought it opened at 6, but it was 4). Tiny, tiny, tiny toilet but quite a nice place and tasty food. No Frites, and as frites are the things Bruges seems to be a little famous for this, I was surprised. You could have a jacket potato, for an extra tenner!!!. Fair few beers here, then back into town and to the pub – yep a place called the pub, and it was showing British football. Couple in here, then it was bed time again.

Final day, and we checked out, fought our way into the carpark to dump the stuff, then for tea. Wanted a big sausage but couldn’t get one, so we finally went up the tower. It was steep, and windy (what a weird word to spell – I don’t mean there was a lot of wind as in air I mean there was a lot of wind as in round and round) and people went both up and down. I don’t like that type of staircase, and I was alot happier to come down rather than go up. Luckily we were one of the first up, so didn’t meet many on the way up, after a 5 second look at the view from the top, and realising it was nothing like the film I ran down the stairs. I was hot by the time I got to the bottom. After this we set off for Dunkirk, to see the the landing strip. As we were a little pushed for time and there seemed to be a French marathon going on. We managed to get out of the car, walk along the front a little way, have a quick tiny coffee and a fanta, then we were on our way to Calais. A lot more queuing this way around, and the British passport control took ages to check our mushes against our passports – but we were in and over. Another 3 and a half hours or so and we were back home – in the dark.

Big thanks to Dawn and Paul who took us there, shows us the sights, force fed us beer and food and generally kept us entertained over the weekend.

It was a good place to visit – I liked it quite a lot, and would go back, but at a quieter time. There are many sites, and pubs and food places – it has a quaint feel about it, and yes, perhaps just a little like a “fackin fairytale town”.

8/10

So no rumpy pumpy for us as we “have the painters in”, this is something humans must have needed since the stone age, to come in and spruce up the cave with charcoal and dulux. It is a bit of a minefield as the first thing you have to do is find one. That is not a simple process. You can look in various places, but no where actually tells you if they are any good – perhaps in the big city, but out in the sticks like me, its just not there. So I got a couple over, and they look and give some prices, which include nothing, the one guy we had to add money for paint, rollers, sandpaper, filler etc etc etc I was sure I would see sandwiches and toilet paper in the list. So anyway, by means of picking the most “professional” we booked him.

Then you have to find a date that they can come, this was 5 weeks after we saw him, and we had tried some colour pots in our lounge 4 weeks ago, so we had a front room which was like an abstract picture – and by the end we started to like it!. Once you get the timings you then have to pick the paint. Liking the paint in a brochure is inversely proportional to the colour you get, but we decided on Mud and Orange. Two guys came, and stayed for 3 and a half days, they took their time, but did a really good job. Slowly slowly catchy monkey. We did try to get them back, but they are booked until end of Jan – with the speed they are I am not surprised.

Only problem was we didn’t have the front room, until Friday, then had to spend the weekend without any curtains – not great. And the fact they but the glossyist gloss I have ever seen, but they did take 15mm off the doors.

Next up was a visit to the pub to get another painter, Pete suggested one, who without getting into liable – was shit. But this week Pete got me another, and he seems pretty good so far, so we are getting our bedroom and the first spare this week – nice one.

Anyway we picked up paint, and looked at curtains on Sunday, then as we were in Newport we went over to Tredegar House for a look as we had not been there for a while and its quite a nice place.

It was shut.

So, the electronic marketplace – I don’t like it. We have been updating the house recently, and because of this we had some stuff which we no longer want and its all too big to take down the tip, so we stuck in on “the ‘bay”. The idea in my mind all the time is that even if we get a quid, its better than having to cut it all up and take it all down the tip – but in reality that’s not the point. I hate ebay, I hate the people who use it to attempt to get that absolute cheapest possible price. I am not too naive to realise that all people want is a bargain, but the way they do it makes my skin crawl. One bid we had this week was to trump an offer of a fiver, with a fiver and four pence, four bloody pence – the tight arse tw@. I really wanted to just set fire to the item as they came to pick it up. I mean I am probably just stupid, but I would bid by 50p at least.

We also had another imbecile who bid some doors up to 137 quid – great one I thought, then they didn’t realise that where I live was in Wales and not sodding Oxford – so they didn’t want it then, luckily the next in the list agreed to take it, but for a ton – still, that’s more like it, don’t mind selling things at that price, as it was useless to us. We also sold a bed which took a PHD in astrophysics to dismantle – so gawd knows how they will re-assemble it – still we only had 33 quid for it.

So glad I don’t have to use it much. Which brings me to Stella Tortoise, love it in its chalise glass looking moist and tempting, but it is the demons drink I tell’s thee. It must have been a couple of years now that I moved to the dark side, not any more. It’s not that it makes me mental or anything, but I have just stopped enjoying what it does to me – and I am sure it does something more than other beers. I had six Amstels the other night and felt really great and happy and straight headed. Six Stellas and the story isn’t quite as rosy. So for now I am switching to Heineken, or Amstel or even, heaven forbid – Fosters.

Sunday was a little deary, but we thought we would go out for a walk, I had jogged a little further than I had wanted to in the morning, and assembled Kate’s new wardrobe – so it was time to get out and see the world. We decided to pop over to Tintern and more specifically the Station. This is yet another place we used to visit before it got “commercial” – they even had a sodding pay and display there now, so if you are popping down in the winter for a quick walk you still have to feed it a quid. We had misty rain and it was getting a little dark, but its quite a pleasant walk along an old railway line and then down to the River Usk. We tried very unsuccessfully to creep up on some sheep, and Kate pulled me over, but we decided to go for a beverage in Brockwier, where we have been some time back when a walk we did didn’t turn out too successful. Tiny little bar and unfortunately a very limited budget as I was the only one with money and I only had a tenner. So just a pint, half and a coke – it was quite nice though, in the tiny room with a fire and a pint.

Off back then to the car and home – and because I had the taste I had to get some cans in – Fosters.

Nice walk. 7/10.