So in the film “In Bruges” there are a couple of scenes which are in the Bell Tower in the central square, they are movie magic unfortunately – and in real life the changes are quite significant. I did take a photo of where I think Ken crawled his way back up the tower – but he would never had made it.
So, had a nice weekend in Bruges or BROOGuh as a barman told us – this is a place that was named after a film and lives in Belgium – a place famous for Chocolate and Poirot and, um, well nothing else. We drove up to Bruges on the Friday morning – leaving home around 06:00 and trundling up the M4 in the dark. We made good time and stopped just before the Chunnel to get a newspaper and a bacon buttie, then onto the wonderful Chunnel on the slightly earlier train about 10:20. What a fantastic business this chunnelling is, sailed through passport control, and didn’t get pulled by the police – although Paul had a gun in the boot which would have taken a little bit of explaining.
Drive upstairs onto the train, the we drove for ages actually inside the beast, then stop, engine off, segments closed and within 10 mins we were underground and undersea. After winning 64,000 pounds on “Who wants to be a millionaire”, after running 20 episodes of it – we came out into sunshine. Only about 30 mins across the sea, and another 10 mins and we were on the wrong side of the road and looking at all the silly building in this foreign climes. Straight off the train and into the motorway, then passed an oddly spelt Newport a little bit of traffic and then we arrived – around 13:00 Eurotime. Thanks to Mr Sat Nav we turned up just outside of the hotel and after a bit of faffing we headed off to the BatCave. The hotel had an underground carpark, which had a number pad which wasn’t very good at allowing codes to be inserted, but we finally managed and checked in. Nice big room, second floor on the Martin’s Relais and 15 mins later we were off and running.
Bruges is nice – there is no denying that, it may not be ” like a fackin fairytale town” as ‘Arry describes it in the film, but it is nice – at least the central main tourist bit is, and the canals are okay and they serve beer which is like lager. We did the first thing all tourists do, and that was to wander aimlessly around until you have gone passed the same thing four times, at which point you wander for no more than 10 minutes and stop at a place that sells alcohol and sit down and re-group. So we did that. We had some sandwiches type food and a few samples of the local brew – which in this case was a Pilsner Urquell. I then had to leave them have a final half, as I needed to pick up my coat and to drop “something” off at the hotel. Was back before they finished, then we walked around again. Found ourselves outside the “Irish bar”, which was like no Irash Bar I had ever been in, not because it didn’t look authentic – it had a bar and some seats, but it was the slowest bar I have ever been in. The poor server was a complete retard, and the sod in front of us ordered some type of exotic coffee beverage. There was also a man coming up and down out of the floor behind the bar. This is where Jupiler became our new favorite lager. After a quick drink after the long order, we tried a couple of other places, which were heaving and went back to somewhere we had seen previously on the journey – to try and get a drinkies. We ended up having a drinkies and some foodies in the Habit – which was good and bad. The beer (Brugse Zot until I realised the price and then large Stella’s) was good and we had a nice time before supper, and then decided that it was best to stay where we were to eat. The wasn’t wasn’t so good, especially the sausage with “magic potato”. Magic potato could be better defined as “Green poo potato”, I wont bother to describe them just see what I say – oh they were runny also. That special dish also came with a piece of gammon which had been hanging around for months – which was not as nice as you might expect. Reasonable price though, and the other three meals were fine. After this we had a number of extra Jupilers in a remarkable place which stayed open until 8 in the morning – 9:30 on a Saturday – and he said it didn’t really get going until 3 in the morning – and in the week – amazing, I was frequently amazed by this – each large one made me amazed again. We had a good chat to the guy at the counter and all in all, although it was very quiet here, cos we were early it was a good place to get ‘faced. After a few of these we went to get some water and then home, quite squiffy I think its fair to say.
Second day and a bad head, only wore my jumper again like a silly monkey, and after tea and croissants we walked the canals for a while, until we found the boats – early doors there was only a little queue, by the time we returned it was massive. Quite a nice journey, a little cold! but you did get to see things and gain a vague idea of where things were. At this point we decided to walk down one of the roads we had not been on. At the end of this bit we got to the swans, and the monastery – both of which were only slight less boring than a drill. After some more wandering we needed food and finally decided on a place where the server was a complete doofas. All I wanted was a pizza, with no tomato – unusual maybe, but not the most complex order in the world. He looked at me with his stupid foreign face and squeezed out a slight bit of English, then looked again with a face like someone who had just woken up to find his life was actually a vivid dream by a old hairless dog who lived with a tiny Saxon nun on a roundabout in Swindon, and said the chef was too busy. Oooh. At least we got away with a free round here ;o)
After this we decided to split up and us men went to the pub. We picked a “Blues” bar, which was pretty good – we only had a quick one, then it was four and we met up by the tower. By the time we all got there we just missed the entrance to the steps, so instead we walked off to another bar which was too full and so we went back to the Blues bar where I almost got fleaced by the barman, and being British I was too embarrassed to say, but when we had the next, Paul picked him up on the price and fair play to the guy he took out a tenner from the till and let me have it. Now that’s service. After this it was back to a food place just opposite the one we went to yesterday – this one was called “the hobbit”, we tried the bar with a million beers before hand but it was packed again (I thought it opened at 6, but it was 4). Tiny, tiny, tiny toilet but quite a nice place and tasty food. No Frites, and as frites are the things Bruges seems to be a little famous for this, I was surprised. You could have a jacket potato, for an extra tenner!!!. Fair few beers here, then back into town and to the pub – yep a place called the pub, and it was showing British football. Couple in here, then it was bed time again.
Final day, and we checked out, fought our way into the carpark to dump the stuff, then for tea. Wanted a big sausage but couldn’t get one, so we finally went up the tower. It was steep, and windy (what a weird word to spell – I don’t mean there was a lot of wind as in air I mean there was a lot of wind as in round and round) and people went both up and down. I don’t like that type of staircase, and I was alot happier to come down rather than go up. Luckily we were one of the first up, so didn’t meet many on the way up, after a 5 second look at the view from the top, and realising it was nothing like the film I ran down the stairs. I was hot by the time I got to the bottom. After this we set off for Dunkirk, to see the the landing strip. As we were a little pushed for time and there seemed to be a French marathon going on. We managed to get out of the car, walk along the front a little way, have a quick tiny coffee and a fanta, then we were on our way to Calais. A lot more queuing this way around, and the British passport control took ages to check our mushes against our passports – but we were in and over. Another 3 and a half hours or so and we were back home – in the dark.
Big thanks to Dawn and Paul who took us there, shows us the sights, force fed us beer and food and generally kept us entertained over the weekend.
It was a good place to visit – I liked it quite a lot, and would go back, but at a quieter time. There are many sites, and pubs and food places – it has a quaint feel about it, and yes, perhaps just a little like a “fackin fairytale town”.
8/10