Here we are again, another year in, another 6 pounds heavier and another year on the old and weary legs. Cycle 2014 had been arranged as usual many months in advance, and yet with a week remaining we were unsure who would attend. Dave had a great excuse (well one that was better than the other) in that he was looking to move house just about when we set off, but Big Bad Brend had only just realised that he alone thought we were going on a completely different week to the rest of us. How the hell does he survive? So Brend decided that he would prefer to mooch around North Wales with his new bird, and spend time with her family than to take on the might of the M25 cycle – he chickened out basically. Dave however found that he could skip off whilst the packing was being done, and still be home for the opening ceremony of his new house.
So on Thurs, 24th July, and a little earlier than usual I needed to get off the work phone early and head up to Windsor. GD had sorted out a train up to Magor, so I had sent him directions and was expecting him around 11:00 – some time aft this he appeared at the door, looking slightly more windswept than I would have expected given the three or so mile short cycle to my house. I then found out he had been on the road for about ten miles, so the forensic examination of how in gods name he managed that began. The route was easy – come out of the station, hit the main road, go left pass some things like the green shack and turn into our street. I just could not understand what had happened – so we looked at his map – odd, no Severn Tunnel Junction. Then I realised, the numpty had actually gotten off at Newport station and then followed my instructions from Severn Tunnel – no wonder he couldn’t find the Green Shack… How he managed to get here with no instructions I have no idea, but he did – well done him.
After close down and a quick toastie, we spent three hours trying to get the bikes onto the bike rack – with a watching Tesco delivery driver chuckling to himself – by the time it was sorted I already had a sweat on, and was glad to get into the car. The journey began……..
An eventless couple of hours saw us arrive in Windsor, although, as if to set the scene, GD did take over navigation for all of one minute and directed me to a road off a round-about which didn’t exist, even though I think that he still believes it was there, but before we knew it we were at the Holiday Inn in Windsor. Got the car in the underground car park, booked in a couple of rooms and waited for the team. Not long after we arrived we had the surprise guest of Phil “Lippy” John, who came down for the night to ease himself into the possibility of one day getting on a bike. We had a beer.
Marrsy then arrived a very short time later, after taking a refreshing sweat shower as he had to cycle forty miles on everyone elses day of rest. He came down from somewhere else and looked a little warm. Oh yeah it was actually a nice day, which makes a dramatic change from our normal cycles. We tried to contact Dave, we couldn’t.
Once showered and unpacked we headed into Windsor proper, and after a pleasant stroll we made our way to an absolutely amazing pub (even if I say so myself, which I had to because they didn’t like it – it was “too hot” for Phil and too expensive for the rest of us) down by the river where we had a couple of tasty beverages. We managed to contact Dave, and he would be late (a little more foreshadowing of things to come) so we wondered off for more beverages. At this point people were being a little sensible, pints of water were had along with the alcohol, food was being mentioned, but we managed to steer the conversations to another pub as we waited for Dave. Next pub, up a little alley saw more unusual lagers, GD was still on the cider though at this point, and we grabbed a table in the evening warmth and drank some more. Dave finally arrived about <sometime later> and as we can’t decide on anything we had food in the same pub. Dave was quite annoyed with the fact he couldn’t have a chicken burger because me and Phil had double chicken burgers and there was no more chicken – which was odd, what was odder was that we even offered to split one double to two singles – but they don’t work like that in Windsor for some reason. Another pint, and sat nav to get home – that didn’t bode well for 180 miles of navigation with no signs.
UP early doors, ready for a get away of 9:00 prompt, and Dave and GD were late – Greg didn’t look too clever, and he had discovered that Aspall Cider doesn’t really agree with him, and he was a little tender. Did’nt stop him getting a hearty breakfast down his neck.
9:00 and we were all assembled, well when I say all I mean everyone bar Dave. We waited for a while, then a while longer, then he appeared – woo hoo we can leave, oh Dave hasn’t got his bike out yet. So we waited. Then at some time after 9:00 we were ready. Then Dave disappeared again, then we had a photo, then Phil left and we began – it wasn’t raining.
First part of the day was through Windsor and out towards Reigate and Box Hill, we were all raring to go, if a little hung over, but we had a load of bottles of H2O and we were doing it man. Marrsy was in the lead, which was a sign of things to come and we made good progress towards Box Hill. My memory not being as good as it was can’t remember anything about the trip other than it was mostly on roads and we only went wrong once – well, that was the only time navigator admitted it. We had a bit of a hill in this section, and descended nicely into Box HIll station and I stocked up on Fruit Pastels ready for the infamous Box Hill.
Box Hill (did I mention this place?) was something I was looking forward to with trepidation, I thought it would be a killer, it wasn’t. It was quite relentless, but not too steep and we motored at around 8 or 9 miles an hour, luckily I was just keeping onto Marrsies wheel and didn’t see anything other than his tire, the whole way up. After we were cycling for about 20 minutes I was getting a little pooped, but then amazingly we were at the top – easy peasy lemon squeezy. But Dave and GD were no where to be seen, so we paused in the shade and tried to contact them. After about ten minutes we finally got through and they had had a puncture about half way up, so had changed the tube and were on their way. After another ten minutes we were reunited, we were bored, so when the other two arrived we pretty much kicked on, unfortunately for them, but we figured they had their rest half way up.. ;o)
A few miles later and it was time for a lunch stop, we found a nice pub on the main road, and got some squash and Miguel in and ordered some nosh – the storm clouds were brewing. As we had our drinks, they said it was going to rain – I didn’t believe them, it couldn’t, the curse of the cycle was coming back to haunt us – and me being an idiot had forgotten my “wet” jacket. It rained. Alot.
Luckily we were awaiting food, so we sat inside in a warm and musky room whilst the weather went mental outside. Thunder and lightening and torrential rain, but we were cosy – for now. We mostly had some sandwiches, but loaded guy had a Prawn and Lobster Linguine – which looked pretty good I must admit. After tipping the waitress twenty quid Dave was almost prepared. So we filled out bottles and sat on our bikes in the rain, whilst Dave had a pedicure. I was a little wet and cold for the next few miles, but then we broke though the storm and the sun put his hat back on and it was nice again. The second half of the day was quite a lot of up hill – up to Crystal Palace, and a couple of confusing moments as we neared London. We managed to get a route to Tower Bridge from some exceedingly friendly Greek drunk and as we fought the traffic into London the rains came again – a lot, we were almost there, but by the time we made it to the Premier Inn we were soaked, again.
Great hotel, great shower, and they gave us complementary shower capes and we arranged to meet a little later for drinkies. We met up and whilst waiting for Dave we investigated whether we thought 78,557 was the lowest Sierpiński number and re-created the proof for the Binomial Theorum. But then he arrived – hurrah.
The rain had stopped and we managed about 200 yards before the lure of the pub was too much, so we gave in. Then we walked some more, and Dave and GD decided to go off for some sightseeing and to take some pictures of each other. They were frolicking like two Italian lovers. We used the super interweb to find another pub. We went there.
It was German, and they did Steins, I didn’t have one, which I will regret for the rest of my days, but we did have a nice drinky. Then we wondered over to Wagamamas which I had never been to before, it was quiet so great and the food was well received. Then the boys went to the pub, and GD scuttled back for an early night. Then bed – pretty knackered.